Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I've never known a pain like this,
an incessant throbbing robbing me of my teenage bliss.
I just crossed the finish line so why do I feel like s**t?
I must be an adult because it don't seem like it gets much better than this.
I mean I just reached my goal and now I'm losing my grip?
On reality...
Realizing my life is just a fallacy,
my persona is gone and now there's no more hiding me
FROM ME.
I'm lost in the shadow of what I've tried to be
and the goals that I set for myself are now the problem see.
'Cus NOW it seems?
They're less obtainable than the end of "The Odyssey"...
But that's not all I feel like I'm by myself.
Like there's no one to look out for me or my mental health,
and finally looking at the damned cards I've been dealt.
I guess I'm living in poverty and it's a slippery slope,
and I'm not trying to joke.
I really hope that I'm dope...
That I'm so good at something I won't even have to gloat.
They'll look at me and see that I'm a man of integrity,
that I've got big dreams and the skills that will carry me to the end.
So I won't have to rely on anyone, not a friend.
Because believe it or not people acting out of the kindness of their heart
is a lost art,
pretty much like the American Dream.
I'm not saying it's a lie but that's how it seems.
My whole life I've seen people doing all the right things,
being the loyal knight to a multitude of kings,
bending over backwards to give wives diamond rings,
and giving their all in the sake of the good 'ol team.
Yet if you look at the record, they're 0-and always,
the valiant effort glorified in vacant hallways.
Sure they'll get the respect,
and hell they might even get remembered...
As the suckas' who fell victim to the ambitions of their betters.
So why am I destined to sit and simply take life's s**t.
Why didn't Gina include a manual in that emergency survival kit.
I guess that's why it's still acceptable to rage and b***h a fit.
Because the real game is rigged and there's no way to quit.