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Hey Gaia,

For those of you who decide to click on this post and read it, treasure it like a blog where someone you don't even know is spilling their hopes and dreams for everyone to see ;D

Well anyways,

I have played gaia starting in 2008, for God knows what reason exactly; perhaps out of boredom or lonliness? Who knows..

Anyways, I digress, I started gaia in 2008. So let me do the math really quick...plus 1, carry the six, murmur murmur murmur....let's just say I was approximately 13...yeah let's say thirteen. Well, I am twenty now. Whoo, one more year until I can "turn up". If turn up means to apply to graduate school for my Masters program in biochemistry and molecular biology, then I suppose I will be turning up real good.

From the seven years that I have played, I've realized a few things:

1. I am not a little kid anymore, so friends and this "communicating" thing is quite hard now.
2. I am regarded as a ma'am now.
3. I am to the point where if I were struggling in this cruel hard world, there isn't really anyone who cares to inquire about it anymore.
4. Living alone means no health insurance ;3
5. Life is a stand-up comedy stage where people who refuse to perform a gag for treats often get trampled on or left behind.

Let's say life is a box of cookies, (my sister Meer889 like oreos), and let's say in this box of cookies there are cookies that are whole when they are taken home from the store, and there are cookies that are chipped, and there are cookies that are broken in corners or halves, and then, there are cookies who are completely smashed into oblivion. I don't know where I am going with the cookie analogy, but let's assume it was something great.

My point being, is that on the shelf, the cookies are already in bad enough shape having been tossed in a truck from a factory that makes every cookie beautiful and whole, and uniform. But cookies that are in bad positions in their boxes often are the ones who get bumped and crushed on the truck the most. And when finally they get purchased off the rack and go home with a person, they get to finally, FINALLY get to the purpose they were created perfectly for.

They were created for the consumer. And when the consumer opens up their newly purchased box, only to find that 60% of their cookies are still beautiful and 20% are chipped, 10% are chopped in half, and the last 10% are completely in crumbs, can you imagine their disappointment?

The lucky 60% are received for their purpose, to be consumed by the consumer (if they're extremely lucky, they'll be paired with milk, tea, or coffee). What of the 20% that are slightly chipped?, they're after the 60%. And the 10% that are in half, they come after. Finally the last 10% of crumbs are left. Let's think of this scenario as the consumer now: Imagine looking at the crumbs of a chip bag. How many of you will scoop the last crumbs into your mouth? I for one, just throw the crumbs away.

So back to the cookie perspective. The crumbs, which were once beautiful cookies set out for the sole purpose of being eaten as their whole life dream, cannot even be picked up in a single swoop. They can be scooped into the consumer's mouth, but that rarely happens. They get thrown away down the garbage chute. So, imagine being prepped for this one goal, only to be unfairly broken down into little pieces, then not even being used for that one goal.

It's sad. For the cookie, it's depressing. (Insert tough cookie pun here)

Well, life is like a box of cookies, I've realized. The ones who are in the right positions and have the best cushion get the goods, where the ones who had the least support get broken down and tossed down the garbage, even when they too, were once great looking cookies. The cookies tasted the same, and at one point looked EXACTLY the same. They just had different experiences.

Why am I writing about cookies and life? Well, at my age, I've realized that people are like cookies: they break, and they crumble when they are just at the verge of their purpose of existence.

For all those of you who were at one point the cracked or crumbled cookies, you have a purpose greater than the consumer. You are the dreamers who, once down the garbage, get to see a greater life than the stomach. Could you be lucky having escaped the stomach? It depends on what perspective you have,

I, for one, have a positive perspective. I'm a crumbled cookie, having gone through harsh environments and rejection. But I took another path other than my peers who were in the same factory as I was; and I can say that I probably have experiences that have shaped me into a tougher cookie. Sure, I've lost some pieces on the way to rebuilding my self-esteem, but now I feel like time is not an issue for me. I have all the time in the world, regardless of what others may say.

Sure, I may not have health insurance yet, but at least I don't have to pay off any student debt. wink

Until next time, Gaians. Adieu, farewell, Vale, Sincerely yours,

Lacus889. A broken, Tough Cookie.