Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

tis halloween night. normally a time to remember the dead with friends and family. a celebration of the after life and those who are waiting for us. Originally this night was planned to be a night of friendship and fun, but oh how cruel the world is. friends fight, plans fall through and once again i sit here alone. inside i must question just what it is to have friends. it always just leads to pain as does everything in this world. nothing good ever comes from being around others and keeping ties to those who we once cared about. perhaps it would be best to go back to the old ways. before i let people get close to me. back when everyone was at an arms distance. back then i couldnt really feel anything i just went through the motions of emotion and life. there isnt anything good that will happen to me in this life. soon enough the one thing that i hold dearest and treasure will be removed from me leaving me in complete darkness.surely like most things this is my fault. everything is my fault. people hate me. friends pity me. thats all there is to it in this life. perhaps in the next i will have it better. or perhaps be reborn as a bird and i can fly high above the earth, above my problems and maybe find peace.