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its been a while since i've last written to you. at the end of everything i hope that you are well and you've been able to follow what you want rather than the demands of others

back in september, i almost lost my house. my and my mum were having a falling out and i couldnt handle her anymore. i almost walked out on my mum and brother because i didnt feel... safe. past year id get yelled at by her 2/3 times a week for one rediculous thing or another. and when she couldnt manage her anger, she'd hit me. she recognizes she has a problem with her anger but she wont own up to it, continueing to blaming me for her actions. she continues to either blow things up out of proportions and would make things bad for everyone even tho the situation was her fault majority of the time. this year isnt the first time shes been terrible- i've had to put up with her issues all my life. i grew up being afraid of her and what she was willing to do have me punished for what she didnt approve. and i felt like i was done with it. i tried to walk out- and i failed. what dosnt help me is that my brother knows how bad things are but how he explains it is that i have to deal with it and grind it out. and thats how im suppose to live my life? not only that theres been history where my brother never went out and told my mom what she was doing was wrong or went out of his way to stop her from hitting me. sure he tries to tell me how to avoid pissing her off day by day, but thats no way to life. he essentially acts as my second mother on the daily- im sick of it. the one thing thats keeping me from desiring to stay with my family is my mom. shes high mantinance, anger management issues, she continues to ignore the idea that hitting children is wrong regardless of how she was brought up (seriously if we were living in vietnam and shes doing that i'd understand it but i wasnt raised in vietnam therefore shes parenting the wrong ******** way), she only considers her own oppinion to be absolute, makes enemies out of those who doesnt obey her- just a terrible person.

but still- my leaving of my house last month failed. now im back to the drawing board and when i do leave it'll prob be just a note left behind and the phone she bought for me.

regardless of how awkard it'll be btwn my brother and i at the very least my dad shares the same view as i- i cant keep living like this. i can only hope god smiles on me in my ordeal. my brother and mother continues to expain how shes always supporting me and taking care of me- bull s**t. the only highlights they mention is how she takes cares of the bill, pays for our food, our roof- money. her only support is the money she brings home and she expects us to obey her demands because she brings home the bacon. i mean- ******** my dad doesnt even have his own bank account because of my mum. greedy little b***h (funny since shes five feet tall). the only reason my mom and dad dont share the same last name is because she'll miss out on the benefits if she kept his name. she takes advantage of the system and whenever she applies to somethings she has either her last name or my dads name to put on the application and get the same deals a single individual would get while being married. shes ******** takes advantage of anything she gets her hand on and uses it to her benefit. like how i almost left my house. the only reason i faild is cuz she played the guilt card like super hard and verbally assaulted my friends house hold just so that i would have any other place to go- the b***h

cant even start with my brother- her lazy copy in man flesh. she bitched whiped him to obey and spread the word of what she wants us to do and doesnt seem to care if she hits me when angery. im pretty sure that if you saw your little brother get beaten by your dad or mum u'd at least try to stop it or defend him. my brouther wouldnt do that. he'd let it happen and act like i deserved it for pissing mom off- the ********? sibling should be doing that s**t on each other. he has rarely acted like a brother to me. he feels like he is allowed to hit me and i cant hit him back. he talks me down untill i feel ashamed half the time. just recently we got into an arguement- he strikes me then i hit him back out of reflex and he goes and starts calling me weak because i had to make a fist to hit him and goes on saying i will be just as bad of a parent as my mother.

i promise you this- i will never hit my children. will never abuse my children in any way. i will never crush their soul because "they deserved it". i will always promote and advise them to chase their dreams and i'll continue to be their pillar of support regardless of how they turn out. the last thing they need from me is to keep them from growing up.

it's getting late now- my dad comes back from california in the morning and hes been gone for a week

i love you
- Wtphu / Tylerphu Nguyen

ps. my girlfriend and i are 5 years strong (total) and mums yet to break this reltionship