It finally ended today something very subtle happened. I "broke up" with my 1st boyfriend. I honestly am very conflicted. The way it ended was very immature. Since we have a long distance relationship and we mainly connect over Facebook, he "disabled" his facebook. It's mainly my fault for this. I stopped talking to him completely because I didn't know if I liked him anymore. I'm still very conflicted. He did it yesterday. Amazing. Even though it's not said, I know that it's over. Even if it was a mistake, it was not a mistake. It spoke clearly to me that this was no more. I wish I could have handled this my way and still be friends with him but that's pretty cruel. He was the main person I talked too. Now, going online feels lonely. My "best friend" has drifted away from me. I haven't messaged her since May. It feel as if there is a hole in me right now, both him and her. I don't know anymore. Well, maybe I do know and I'm denying it. Then again, only the me inside knows.
iiivybear · Sat Sep 13, 2014 @ 07:00am · 0 Comments |