I've been told to get out on January 1st or start paying the same rate as a regular renter. It makes sense... but still. I'm feeling a bit hurt that my family members have given me this ultimatum, as though I'm not trying to get my life together. It makes me feel like giving up on everything... like I can't trust anyone at all anymore.
They said I've come a long ways, but at the same time when they say "we don't want you here" it makes me feel like they've been lying to me. Maybe I haven't changed. I'm still stuck. I can't hold down a job. I can't make more than minimum wage. I must be a failure in their eyes.
This is the first time in a long time my faith has been shaken. I can't stop believing in God, but right now I wonder if I'm really a part of his family or if I'm a stranger on the outside. I've never really felt like I've belonged anywhere and I'm beginning to question if I ever will.
I don't think I can handle anymore change. Not right now.
00Dolphin_SW · Fri Aug 29, 2014 @ 03:03am · 0 Comments |