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Sketchbook
Just a small collection of things that I doodle... I hope to update this daily with at least 5 new drawings a week.
A Darker Side to Home

This is a small excerpt of my life in the form of a comic strip. Take a good long look. Some of these actions happen daily while others happen less frequently. Nonetheless. It all hurts very much. Not only physically, but emotionally. Boo hoo. Some people go through worse than I do-- I have nothing to complain about. Still, even if it isn't as bad as others may think, it is still quite harmful and scary. The scariest part isn't the action itself... that is just painful. The scariest part are the thoughts that begin to feed at your carcass, your pummeled brain.

So, I tell myself: Take a good and long look.

This is just how things are now. And I have to accept it. There isn't much that I can do now to make it stop. So all that I can do is talk about it-- not ignore it. Bottling things up inside of you can be dangerous and I don't want to disturb the people that I talk to to the point where they just throw their hands up and say, "I can't deal with this."

I understand if you can't.

I can't even deal with it.

I have to talk about it. Draw about it. Play music about it. Sing about it. Think about it. Every day.

I can't handle it.

Why should I expect you to?

This post is taking a very dramatic and depressing turn right now... Not good. Let's just look at it for what it is.

This entry is not only a testimony about abuse and violence... but it is also a declaration of absolute bullshit. Yesterday-- JUST YESTERDAY-- my family was taken to a workshop hosted by a church that was focusing on the effects of child abuse and how to prevent it in the home. Hours later-- that's all it took-- HOURS later the cycle resumed. What is the point of attempting to make things right and trying to fix things if you just plan to continue on with your life after people are finished "preaching" to you? That is just... horrible. It is really quite shocking.

During the workshop, none of the children present wanted to speak up. Why? Because their abusers were in the same room. Why would anyone speak up about bad things happening to them and risk embarrassing their parents so much, that they "discipline" their kids one more time, just for good measure? It is just absurd and pointless. I feel that all of this just... made everything else worse.I slept ALL day. I was literally knocked out for the entire day. Which is why I posted SO late. Usually I am able to make it before midnight-- but I just... I couldn't even make the post myself. I had to have a trusty friend make this post for me... (Thanks, Mr. Gray ♥ ) My eyes have been seeing stars for a while... I'm locked outside... sitting in the dark, waiting for SOMEONE to realize I am still outside, my ribs hurt, and I... I should stop complaining. People need to complain once in a while... I guess. I just don't need to complain so much.

This was my first attempt ever at making a comic in about... 2 years or so? I don't know. I obviously have a lot of work to do... I'm not that good. smilies/icon_sweatdrop.gif

Please excuse the foul language. It wasn't really that necessary now that i think about it... But it was something that I felt needed to be there at the time.

There is a lot I want to say... but for now, this should do. It's just... ehhh... I don't like complaining but I was told that keeping things bottled up isn't good either. So if it has to come out... here should be a good place.

Thanks for reading my thoughts!
Hopefully, there is more to come~



I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.
John Muir


 
 
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