This morning brought a mixed blessing in the form of the end of a mystery regarding the fate of my ex fiancé. Although I'm feeling a bit of heartache and sorrow, I am still genuinely glad that he finally found lasting happiness with someone deserving of him. I am thankful to have the answer. There's some sorrow in the revelation, yet this day brings the worst of the blow. Each succeeding day will lessen the pain and the heartache. Life has taught me how to live, even in the worst of situations. It's so strange that my ex fiancé and I came from such opposite paths in life, and those paths have begun a sort of reverse direction. I now follow a path of hardship, and he walks on a path of great happiness. Perhaps it is for the best. I am the one who has to shoulder the burdens in solitude, and he has the future that I once dreamed of, yet never found. Despite all of this, I cannot ask for my life to be different. I am glad my ex fiancé is happy. I hope and pray his happiness lasts for ever. If I myself am never to have that sort of happiness, then that is a fact I can live with. Long ago, when we first met, and loved, I helped him to climb out of a pit. In a strange way, I entered that same pit without realizing it, yet I would not ask to leave it. It was my ex's happiness I cared about, far more than my own. Knowing him, hearing his story of childhood, inspired me. I cannot be jealous of him, nor of his wife. He will be the happy one in the end, but this had always been my prayer. Let my ex be the one to be happy, not me. I still hope and pray and believe in this prayer. It is a strange thing to wish a reversal of fortune upon someone, yet I do indeed wish it for him. If there is a God in this universe, hear my prayer and do well by this man, more so than by myself. for myself I desire nothing, only the happiness of others before myself. If there is a reward for such a sacrifice, let it reveal itself at the right time. That is all.
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