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I thought this was new.
I thought it all was fairly recent.
But it turns out its not.
I found a note to myself, dated summer of 2012. It just said: "I want to be happy"
Was I like this back then too?
I graduated, I remember smiling and laughing, and talking with people, with my best friends.
But I wrote that, exactly what I feel now.
I guess I"m just blurring everything together.
I don't think I was ever happy.
I just want to know why.
And I want to know why I drive everyone away.
Why don't you love me?
What's wrong with me?
Please.
I'm too needy
I"m too emotional
I'm too dramatic
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I should have never spoken.
No one ever wanted to know the real me.
They just said they did