Death. Death takes its toll on everybody. What I don't understand is how can some adults stand there like nothing happened and question why I'm crying. All they tell me is don't cry and don't worry. Seems to me that I'm the one carrying such a huge weight on my shoulders. I never expected this much pain from just one person's death. But then again, the bond between a parent and child is much more sensitive than those of brother and sister or cousin and cousin or any other for that matter. Planning everything from the funeral to flowers...in my eyes I was still a child and I still am even though I'm this old now. I had a thought that what if there was at least one, just one person who would have told me I'm still here. Would it have made a difference to my psyche. Would I still be this torn from this incident? Or would I still feel the same? Thinking about it more and more I realize this could happen to someone I know that's close to me. Should I really stand there like the other adults as the children whimper and cry and agony while telling them not to cry. I think not. I think what I wanted most back then was someone to tell me it's alright I'm here for you. Not that its okay or everything will be fine, because it won't. You carry the pain with you for life and there is no way to bring the people you love back. Until the day you die it will never be the same and it will never be okay. I think reassuring them that you are there, you will help them through this pain, and just giving them all the love and care they need will help to ease the pain this one death created.
Lunar Starlight · Sun Jul 20, 2014 @ 05:50pm · 0 Comments |