Susaigi
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Can this truly be reality?
Even now, I can't help but ponder this to myself.
Never in my life has a plan seemed so perfect.
Every fiber of my existence is screaming, Its not possible!
And yet, with each moment that passes, I can't help but feel painfully optimistic.
Caution is my best friend currently, though I desperately wish to treat him like a stranger.
Never have fear and joy intermingled so potently within me before.
Its an odd sensation, both sickening and delightful, and it leaves me torn.

It never takes long for the negativity to take root though.
Viciously parasitic, it intoxicates the pleasantries I've been afforded.
Before long, its invaded my mind, taking vile liberties with my insecurities.
Uncertainty feeds into guilt feeds into self loathing feeds into desire feeds back into uncertainty.
Thus, the cycle of my self destruction begins, ripping me asunder, and I become a prisoner in my own mind...

A gentle embrace, and a soft whisper in my ear break my shackles.
It's not over yet... I hear beyond the noise of my own tainted mindset.
Thoughts of anguish and failure fade, replaced by a loving smile, a gentle voice, and a warm disposition.
As these elements fill the space of my mind, I feel life spring back into my rigid limbs.
And so, the toxic demons of my thoughts temporarily subdued, I continue forward...