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Are you trying to figure me out, princess?~* Or.. -leans towards- do you wish for me to write about you? ♡ wink
Love & Money & Respect
[Is anyone looking forward to the best holiday ever? As thankful as one is for the farmers on Thanksgiving, it is Christmas! It's better than Valentine's Day because love is in the air for everyone from family, friends, pen pals, pets, online users, your lamp! Your body gets love from your food too and vice versa; it's everywhere. Emotional company is there even if you're unable to see it and/or are physically away. In Japan, though, it's different. Kyoya had to give me "bad" news. But the kotatsu is our saviour!! (I'm not obsessed, just passionate. Family and friends means a great deal to me) While all the couples get together, my family and I can spend dinner together!

If I dragged my family to get a kotatsu, they won't want to in the same way Tamaki's friends won't. But my families, including the muns', likes to entertain my harmless whims, thank you (even though someone told me to bring the kotatsu on my own. I get a free massage if I pull something then, thanks<3)

I remember when I went on here whenever I was bored. It's really chill. There are more important things than the internet like basic survival. IMAGINE THE COMMONERS WHILE YOU'RE ON YOUR ELECTRONIC-THINGY (your laptop) that costs ###### yen.

It's a good thing we don't have western-style Christmas events. It's subconsciously begging me to do something. It's cliche but -leans down near her, his warm breath tickling the shell of her ear as he softly delivers his mellifluous question, curious about the secrets she may hold- ...who doesn't love some sensuality? -recedes with a bright smile- Right? It's enjoyable on a platonic level, if it were any material gift or interest, like "who doesn't love cake?" a normal question. ...-ahem, apologizes for his advance- Sorry;;. -glances up in thought- I'd dislike to be in an actual, non-recreational, and not set on school grounds host club and I'd despise to be popular : D (though I didn't reject it when friends of friends joined). Luckily, I'm cool like a ninja and get to blend in like a chameleon. What's a breed mix of that? Add in some dog and human and you have a creepy monster. No, that didn't come out right.

My mean friend continues to treat me like a obedient dog lol but she’s kinda teasing. Anime Tamaki will probably still cause me to not be respected (and liked) xD It's the worst part about roleplaying him. Kyoya's unlucky though; most of his fangirls aren't, and I mean this in the nicest and most inoffensive way possible because I respect them, thinking well lol. Like Tamaki and I said, I prefer a good girlfriend for him and I love to approve her.

If you're popular, you have to be at the top of your game at every moment to not allow anyone to dethrone you. I don't have that kind of time, man. I did, at a price. I can still afford it, but my gaze has to somewhere my "money" isn't. An actual host club... I'm always happy to be a friend, but I have too much self-respect to sell my body and physical presence like that and it's very superficial. I can't imagine how happy I'd be to have to go to work and woo women for the rest of my life, boring every day, with no love. I didn't even count my own life?!;;;. That could be troublesome. Of course, my would-be girlfriend would trust and understand me as a woman because I'm always appreciative and I would love her.

Sometimes, people think that they need to be the opposite sex to understand, but I like to give people their intelligence and empathy lol. If they don't understand after having a long discussion, then yeah, give up haha, only choice. Try first! I'd only understand if I were a girl? For me, while I am stoic, I don't need that help. Some things, yeah, I'd probably only be able to mostly understand, mainly empathize, but I am a sensitive being too lol. I'm very understanding and I'm friends with many girls. I wasn't a player, it was a long-term joke title we all had fun with "believing", people just wanted to befriend me.

I learned the majority of our brains are similar; there isn't much difference between the genders, only certain people who pair up and look very different, like a out-going athlete and a quiet girl at the library. Treat people how you like to be treated, right? Not all guys are jerks and not all girls are sincere. If you've never dumped a girlfriend before and did nothing wrong, you know how to give people what you've always given and the things not recieved yourself. I like to protect her, make her happy, and I'd like to be taken care of, so I'd take care of her, simple. Does anyone like neglect? Don't masochists have a limit...?

I heard someone once say they respect Tamaki too much. I was rather surprised. -not sarcastic- I have had the honour of reading a YouTube comment where a girl said Tamaki is only sexy when he's cool and confident. Please watch your words. Please watch your thoughts. Please watch your heart. Do you know how devastating it can be to be thought of nothing fantastic or attractive? I'm confident but my ego's not deaf. Think about it. Would Tamaki really enjoy knowing that? You don't have to have a crush on him, like one of my guests, but you don't have to destroy us like that, haha. It's like when Combeferre-mun joked to Courfeyrac (while Kyoya and I were having fun, practising our roles) that the girls don't like him, implying his performance doesn't even make someone smile l|l|. Tamaki and I weren't involved but, from feeling empathy, we needed an apology to Courfeyrac, which Tamaki spoke up for because it's nicer to his audience to hear a defense from him (it sounds like the anime).

I have my good points so then why doesn't anyone seem to notice? It's not very nice and it's unfair,

especially when I respect people. We wouldn't start disrespecting anyone, but it really does make him want to return to the series where people call him "Tamaki-sama" and adore everything about him. I've thought that many times and never went through with it because I was determined to stay and promised I would. He's not very narcissistic, contrary to what some people jokingly exaggerate (I'd never want to ruin anyone's fun; I'm being only honest). We wouldn't want them to put us on a pedestal, but being attentive and interested...we're never given rejection because we're around the right friends and girls in the first place.

Is our optimism not respectable? What if we look dumb? Does it mean we are? He's not often calm in the anime but is a difference of scenes all it takes to change some girls' minds just like that? Is respect really that easily lost? O - o Why? ..What did we do? Is being ourselves not cool enough for you? Is faking entertaining?

What can we do to hold on to something that is already gone from our grasps? We can't. We're already done our part for years. The only missing part is the compromise. Yes, people poke fun at him in the anime, and we really can be an idiot and not use our brains for a moment, but that's not really the problem. They don't put enough good scenes; it's like the adaptation is-- ...-looks over at Kyoya- Is this your doing? Did you tell the staff to put scenes like this so that they don't have enough space to actually make me all of me?!

-remembers what he thought about in the past (@Kyoya: Sorry for the accusation, but it is a good way to promote yourself and not him?)- The anime adaptation is basically meant for comedy, mostly, so they purposely put everything silly, excluding everything else, and only included a bit of realism and drama, actual human lives. Like a flippy book of children' doodles put together with the label of "skilled animated show." It's not wise to rely on that kind of information if you really want to understand people : P You can roleplay the anime for fun, but really, there's nothing to do because of the anime being the kind of anime it is and I don't think girls are happy with 2D guys, who aren't even realistic. I couldn't bear giving girls less than they deserved and would genuinely smile at.

Q - Q It's kind of bothersome, almost heartbreaking, to look at people and see that they don't respect you, or very much, and still talk to them : ) but it's life mrgreen and it needs living! Everything is still good. At least people like to be around me and I'm not driving them away or making them uncomfortable.

But I'd love to drive you home and make you comfortable...somewhere. You know how some rich people have weird looking furniture that are hard to sit in? I mean that. Where were you thinking? You pervert~ I don't even know you~ ...ahahaha, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Going back to earlier because I forgot to ask...

Would you like to someone to think that about you? You're a nice and decent person so people like you, right? "She's only irresistible when she does that"? Nothing's wrong with you. Why are you not gorgeous all of the time? It's the person's problem and you can't help them anymore. True, it is very easy to understand Tamaki looks masculine when he's like that, when he bravely catches and saves a girl for example, but many things are acknowledged and forgotten, like how we stand/walk, what we can carry, how we speak when we're not overexcited, what we feel in our minds, our abilities and strengths, our leadership. Is our physical form not "proof" enough that we can only elicit a groan respect, attention, and love from you by being shirtless or flirtatiously forward? We can be hyper sometimes but we have and take pride in being men, we believe we're intelligent, and we know we deserve love. A few jokes, like a friend friendzoning me because she thought I was too girly like her cousin and all of them laughing in my absence as I was unknowingly "cousin-zoned" and my own joke where I acted coy once, is ok but serious belief is confusing. Here we would be and no one would believe in us? They'd rather stare at Kyoya or Hikaru? Who would both not enjoy it too? As much as you'd like to believe they do?

(We can be sensitive, but thinking we're girls or having us join all the girls because the guy count is low is a bit offensive lol. I think being called/thought of as gay is worse though haha. At least I can think the former is a joke and be casual around them. With the wrong sexual orientation, like you're caught in a museum kindly returning a stolen good that fell, you can't redo people's delusions : /)

Admittedly, I enjoyed spending time around my friends more. Yeah, they "bully" us, but at least they have always respected us and still do.

Kyoya can go ahead with a plan because as the Vice President, he also has control over a lot of things and the club, but he always runs it by me first, not just because Tamaki is the Club President or that I know what I'm doing, I think of what's best for everyone and the club before I decide yes/no, and I have a plan on what I wanted things to look like. He values his opinions, even if I say a brief "sounds good." We see each other as and are equals. Tamaki and Kyoya are not better or worse than each other though they may seem "better" in some things than others.

---

A little misunderstanding

I mean the following with all my kindness, respect, and sincerity. I'm sorry I don't bait piranhas.

I seemed strict on Ouran sometimes, but I never do it to upset anyone; I want everyone to be happy. I knew some hyper-aware girls could take something about me/something I said and use it against Tamaki or pin the blame on him from a situation they catch a glance of, not understanding or trying to stop and first understand the context, that they twist around. Some people have overactive imaginations and unjustified "justified" point of views that might cause trouble. Some girls like to "praise" Tamaki in an insulting and sad way by putting together a "Tamaki's a Womanizer" or "This is what Tamaki goes to school for" AMV I've seen during my research to find good videos for his audience, but we don't like it because we don't want anyone to feel hurt over another misunderstanding about us (and, of course, because we're offended; we're more sad for you, and need to protect you, than ourselves. Maybe we're used to it). We're not shallow and despicable. We like girls and we're respectful. I could say, yeah that's what I go to school for, the cute LGs, but what would you really think? And if Tamaki-mun said that during the period where you see me as Tamaki? I didn't want my jokes to smear Tamaki. I'm sure some people can think he's a pervert for giving a flower to a six year old girl (ep 6). He was just nice and polite. However, people can still take things the wrong way when we're being completely clear. People can think what they want. I know the truth and my part of the compromise is without fabrications. I only try to explain to people who may misunderstand or continue to misunderstand because I don't want them to miss out on knowing me or spend the rest of their life unfortunately disliking an innocent man. The experience would make them sad, if they knew what was happening, so I want to save them.

You can do many things to Tamaki because he's designed to be the butt of the joke, but you might not understand the consequences when someone takes the "joke" seriously or doesn't even know it's not true. We can't fix things after someone believes it, "Heey, hey, Haruhi, you've got it wrong! ...l|l| I said you're misunderstanding;;... I did not do that! //; Don't make things up on your own!?;; You're exaggerating! KYOYA, Hikaru's spreading rumors that are bad for businesss," because people don't believe us when we're telling the truth. The joke is ok between friends/cast but once you involve other people, it might not end as humourously. Pervert this, idiot that. -Tamaki grunts from the jabbing arrows, causing him to look over- Oh, sorry xD -is immune because he's narrating- Doing things, alone with Haruhi... It begs the question, "Who do you think I am?" because if you really understood Tamaki, you wouldn't misunderstand his personality and familial point of view in the first place.
Then again, strange people understand other like-minded strange people. Or I'm too accepting and empathetic that his family titles always made sense. I can be in heavy denial and really dense to my true feelings, past my feelings, so I understand how it works lol. The level of denial is as high as the importance of protecting myself. I'm naturally honest so if I don't know what it is, I can't say anything out loud, I can't realise anything myself, and nothing will be in danger. It's intelligence, not idiocy. I know what I'm doing except it's subconscious. Like Tamaki, fear covers over waiting intense confidence and bravery. I can be quite the coward when I'm actually not and just need someone's help. I'm courageous when someone needs me though or needs me to be. When you stop to realise you can lose everything in a second, you don't want to lose anything or anyone again and you'll protect people and keep them to the point of wrapping them up in layers of blankets like a selfish child keeping treats for later. I'm not that overprotective, that often clingy in a desperate way, but I thought everyone was happy with the family setting so I wanted to keep it for you. It was more for me though. I can't stand the thought of breaking up. Partly because I'm selfish and I've never had that experience with my family and friends so I never want a fictional experience.

Family stays together; you work on an issue together. You don't just leave each other because someone didn't wash the dishes one time. I didn't notice how much you put up with me. It wasn't nice of me to push "family" onto you;;;;. ...Yeah, it looks like regular Tamaki going "Hikaru, you will escort your sister like the good big brother you are so she safely arrives home!" Because Tamaki thinks "the club is like a family," the roleplay club we have is also like a family, but I was serious. I liked the group. I like that we got together. Tamaki and I were lonely, but popular with a few people, so we always like new compatible and nice friends. Due to a lack of knowledge/introspection, we thought we never had them though there is this conversation holding us together. Calling my cast a family was the rare opportunity to actually keep you guys together because you had to be alive in the club. ...That is what we are like involving family. I didn't realise you could have already left. I thought you don't know me yet; you still have some time. I didn't realise when you learned. I didn't realise you still liked us after you learned almost 2 years ago before the club began. It's not too bad, is it? We're not intentionally unkind, disrespectful, rude, pushy, or trouble-making. Like I said, the real troublemakers are the twins.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEdFX1CVMUs

You must let go of the past to have a future. If you're holding yourself back by being the only one disappointed in yourself when others' sincere praises, what they clearly see, feel empty to you, you'll never reach your potential. Have confidence and faith in what you can always count on, when nothing else can be reliable, yourself. It's like when you trust your feelings; if the relationship breaks, you know at least you love them.

Because we're easily misunderstood, I know to try not to give anyone an opportunity to take something wrong out of context. Yes, it doesn't negatively affect us because we'd know the truth, but people can think things and keep it to themselves or spread rumors. There's little to nothing we can do. Fake confidence against confidence is still evenly matched in intensity and they have the "advantage" of telling Tamaki he's in denial or, in a hurtful way, teasing him that he doesn't have to hide the truth like it's an amusing scene. I can laugh at almost anything as long as it's of good taste and isn't mean or hurtful or offensive, a basic good-natured joke, so I appreciate when one is trying to convey humor. We like to help people but some make it difficult. When something is wrong, it's just incorrect, blunt and clear, no explanation necessary. But, apparently, if it's not backed up with a long explanation, it's not believable? But how does one explain the obvious??





 
 
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