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Journal of me life.
Beware, this is where I turn off my filter, so you MAY OR MAY NOT be offended to what I write in here. I just let out all my feelings in this journal. So don't read if you're really sensitive.
Depression galore. xD
Well, tonight I just suddenly slumped down during class and started feeling depressed again. I expect this to last a few days, especially since tomorrow and friday i have nothing going on whatsoever.. Whatever.........

It generally comes and goes in waves, so I'm pretty used to feeling like this. It makes sense too. I mean, here I am, 25 years old, I don't have any jobs hiring me, I have no girlfriend, and I'm alone most of the time in the basement. I think it makes sense and is perfectly normal for me to feel this way. I just hope it doesn't get the best of me like it almost did a few years back..

The funny thing is, when I'm depressed like this, I never seem to react in extreme ways. I don't have a drinking or cutting problem, I don't do drugs. What I do instead is talk to an imaginary person whom I've created. I do that, as well as preoccupy my mind with computers, technology, movies, and music. I have times where I hang out with friends, which also can help, but not always.. I think a part of me seems to want to ignore the fact that I'm depressed, because A) I don't want to worry my parents or my family, B) Nobody would understand it the way I do, C) I want to try to stay as positive as I can, and D) I honestly don't think anyone really cares. xD

Ah well, I'll ride out of it soon enough, and I'll probably droop back down into it.. It's a kind of cycle I guess.






User Comments: [1] [add]
Babstract
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Nov 11, 2017 @ 09:53am
I don't know if you remember me, but I was fireygirl around 8 years ago. We were friends, and we fell out of touch.
I hope you read this and come to realize that things are going to be okay. Living for yourself is one of the best things you can do and there are things worth experiencing. People to experience things with, a flock of people like you out there where you can feel at home.
I wish you the best.


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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