Today I opened the letter my boyfriend had sent to me before I lost him forever. I told myself I wouldn't open it until I was strong enough, the truth is I will never be strong enough. Regardless I opened it, it was small and sweet. He was suppose to read it himself 4 years from now, an event that will never take place. Today I read it, cried, and deleted it. Closure doesn't make losing someone easier, it just finalizes it. No matter if I go into a new relationship, and I am already in one, I will never get over him.
My heart will always belong to him in some way. I hate memories, mainly because they disappear over time...I can't remember what I use to call him as a nickname, I have a feeling I'll forget others over time.
My dear Lucus,
I know you'll never read this,
But I miss you more than anyone else.
I think about you when I wake up,
and before I go to sleep.
I miss you and your obsession with zelda.
I miss your nerdy glory and awkward beauty.
I miss your laugh and the way you would hold me.
I miss your vegetarianess and how you would call me lovely.
I miss listening to you when you slept.
I love you and I always will,
please believe this,
even if I move on as much as possible,
I am always yours.
to my best friend...
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