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I'm an Open Book
So yeah
Hospital stuff. So much to know, and SO much to do. It's a LOT like working fast food! In a lot of ways! You're always moving, always on the go, always going from one task to another, getting drawn to something else and finishing the other thing later. I feel at home, haha. It was different following the CNA vs. nurse. That's for sure. Nurses are running around trying to get meds in and do their assessments while CNAs are going around making beds, helping people go to the bathroom, cleaning things, writing new things on the boards, etc. It feels like the CNAs do most of the care, nurses do it too but kind of on a different level.

I've gotten to help a patient to a bedside commode, emptied urinals, made beds.. To think next week I can insert Foley catheters, administer an enema.. Give injections, and pass meds. Holy crap.


OH. And I am getting a raise/promotion at work! Moving up in the world of Wendys.. hahaha. But yeah, the new district manager REALLY likes me, my general manager keeps telling me. Said I was THE best worker at the store, and wants to promote me. He wanted to make me a legit manager but I can't do that with school so I'll be the next thing up, a Shift Manager. I get keys to the register/cash registers etc. I will be opening the store now. c: And a $0.50-$1 raise, which is decent. Better, anyway. It feels SO good to be recognized for hard work.

Mm. We went grocery shopping tonight after picking darling butt up from work. I bought cherries. My favorite. <3

Aaaaand I cut my hair short again! No more pony-tails. I'll grow it out again in the fall/winter. But, between work and school/hospital, my hair needs to be up EVERY day. It just wasn't worth it. So good bye hair.

I also ripped my pants today at work. My a** is growing apparently, and I have bust out of TWO pairs of pants in ONE MONTH. I almost cried. Luckily mom's sending me like $100 to get new stuff.. I just bought it today anyway before the money came in. I need the work pants.

Yeah.

Seems to be some tension between roommate and darling butt. Not sure what that's about. I have a hard time reading them both honestly. I don't know if things happen at work, home or whatever but I don't understand it that's for damn sure. Darling butt's been trying harder lately, so I don't know what the beef is. He offered to put the groceries away, did the dishes today.. He cooks more often than I do at this point, and does just as much or MORE chores than roommate.. Honestly I think no matter what I does/did, it'll never be enough. Roommate sees him how he sees him and he could prostrate himself or beg for friendship and it wouldn't come. Honestly, it's their relationship and their choices. If I make the conflict between them worse somehow, I feel bad. At this point I do feel like it's somehow my fault. Who the s**t knows.

Oh, but I did get to hang out with roommate the other day a little. He seems sleepy though, so after I dragged him to Wendys and we made drinks I browsed imgur so he could sleep if he wanted to. I think he did wanna sleep, cuz he was super quiet and went to his room eventually. o no Sometimes I wish I was a mind reader because I am super bad at figuring out that stuff.

God these cherries are good. I remember eating like two pounds of cherries one day.. My burps literally tasted like cherries. It was worth it.

Ooooookay back to nursing videos. -____-






User Comments: [2] [add]
kits119710
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Jun 19, 2014 @ 11:53am
This is going to be a long one; sorry.

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I feel I should try to elucidate. Everytime I have approached this subject in the past you have cut me off and stopped listening then repeated the mantra "that is your problem; you are trying to change Mike, you are approaching the situation wrongly". Approximately. So before I get started I would like to state....

1. I am not trying to change Mike.

2. I do not think I can change Mike. I never thought I could.

3. I believe the only person who can change Mike is Mike.

4. You can believe I am trying to change Mike, but that belief is false. I cannot force you to believe I am not trying to but I really am not, honest.

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Okay so now a little bit about what is going on in my head.

1. I believe a persons actions are driven primarily by their personality. As long as an idea/habit or such is in someones head they will be driven towards the actions that result from this idea/habit.

-Example of part 1:
Until recently I always ate food for pleasure. I ate food because it was ******** tasty. If the food was not ******** tasty I did not want to eat it. Because of this personality trait I would eat unhealthily because unhealthy food is ******** tasty.

I could of tried to eat healthier but as long as possessed the personality trait of eating food for the purpose of pleasure I would be driven to eat unhealthy food.

I achieved a permanent change by changing the way I think about food. I now eat food primarily for nutritional value. Tastiness is nice but it isn't the main reason to eat food. I eat food for nutritional value because I have more energy, am less depressed and do better in school when I do.

1a. I believe this because a persons personality is often the most static thing in their life. Contextual factors change a lot and do not exert a constant force. By contextual factors I mean things like peer pressure, economic factors and such.

-Example of part 1a: Girlfriend bugs boyfriend to do the laundry. This is a contextual force. Girlfriend does not bug boyfriend all the time however so after a while boyfriend stops doing laundry because boyfriends personality doesn't like doing laundry and the contextual force caused by girlfriend went away, therefore only the constant force of boyfriend hates doing laundry remains.

2. As long as the only consistent force over a long period of time is personality all other forces will eventually be negated and a person will always end up reverting to the actions driven by their personality (what they actually want to do).

Therefore,

As long as a persons personality does not change, no matter how much you work at it a person will be driven to do the things you are trying to get them to not do. Given enough time they will revert to their old ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reasons I am slow to trust mike or want his friendship at all:

1. I am skeptical to the longevity of any resolutions regarding Mike because of the previously stated beliefs about personality driving action.

2. Mike has broken his word lots of times before.

3. Mike and I have had a LOT of fights. If me and mike were not roommates and I were not tied to mike through friendship with you mike and me would not even be talking at all; my relationship with him would of collapsed long ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I acknowedge the following:

1. Mike has been doing the dishes and other household things more than enough for me to stop throwing b***h fits about them.

1a. This is why I don't throw b***h fits about them and have not even once since me and Mikes talk.

2. Mike was surprisingly generous with regards to Gaia items and such shortly after our talk.

3. Mike likes to do things for the people he cares about in the form of spending money as long as he has said money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No more space.


commentCommented on: Thu Jun 19, 2014 @ 12:03pm
I put forth the following:

Given my beliefs about personality stated in the previous comment and my previous issues with Mike I do not believe it is justified to forget the past despite the last monthish of improvement and treat mike as my friend.

Healing will take a lot of time and and in that time good reason will need to be demonstrated for me to forgive and forget everything that has happened.

I do not want Mike to prostrate himself and you are correct, him doing that would not improve my opinion of him at all. This is because I do not want Mike's submission at all. I am not trying to change Mike. I am not trying to like him. It is unlikely I will ever like him. He still does things to piss me off without even trying.

I do want to get along with him though, but friendship is a word I take very seriously. I cant imagine myself ever thinking of him as a friend again after everything that has happened.

I do not want to fight with him, I do not want to hate him, I would prefer things be cordial, approximately. I have started rambling. I'm done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scratch that; in direct response to your thoughts.

1. None of this is your fault. This is because Mike and I are forced to be around each other because of the situation when we should of stopped being around each other entirely months ago as well as my beliefs about the situation.

2. I was super sad when you said not this again when I told you about my gaia journal with regards to brittany and you said "not this again". I felt like I couldn't communicate with you and that you were expecting me to never talk to you again through writing or something. It made me very sad and quiet.

3. I took you going on Igmur as a sign you didn't really want to talk anymore.



kits119710
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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