nitznitz
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The true face of my modesty
I'm not pretty, I just look OK in your eyes.
I'm not pretty, I just wear clothes that compliment me.
I'm not pretty, I just have a good hair day.
I'm not pretty, I just have way too much scalp hair.
I'm not sexy, I'm a ball of blubber.
I'm not smart, I just have experience with that specific thing.
I'm not smart, I'm just a teensy weensy bit better at specifically this thing.
I'm not smart, I just get by on sheer luck. Today I have it. Tomorrow I probably won't.
I'm not smart, that was rigged in my favor.
I'm not sweet, I just hate seeing someone get hurt or sad.
I'm not sweet, I just want to feel meaningful.
I'm not sweet, I'm just incapable of saying "no".
I'm not a good person, I just want someone to think that so I'll be able to live with myself.

Some are lies, most are truths, all are excuses.
I wonder when have I los the ability to look in the mirror and find a single good thing without having this zapping need to handwave it away and attack it from any front I can find.

I'm modest, but just because I hate myself too much to go anywhere near the way to be arrogant again. I don't deserve that foolish pride and I know it.

Is that a truth, a lie, or an excuse?
I know one thing: It is the only virtue of mine I can look into my reflection's eyes and say without feeling like a complete smug little b***h.

Now if I could only twist it as a flaw so I'll actually feel comfortable admitting it.

You know what they say, at least I'm modest.