Le Grand Master created men with foreskin. Then along came Le Herp who wanted to make soup and ordered His followers, Le Derps, to retrieve the primary ingredients. Few men were ever capable of loving the way Le Grand Master created them.
Le Derps continue to sacrifice foreskin to Le Herp to this day, who argue it's about hygiene and think drip-drying actually works. Le Piss-Stained Derps will never wipe it off, even after this message.