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Some Notes and Scribbles~
Updated weekly whenever possible. Pretty much simple stuff like how im feeling or how my day went, or darker stuff like venting out my feelings and stuff i hide or rarely let anyone know about.
moving/ traveling
so apparently my idiot parents want to move back to the old city that we used to live in for three years until we moved back five years ago to where were currently living. its sorta good thing/ a bad thing. for me that is. mostly bad though.

and apparently their reasons are that "oh the house is getting too crowded" and "the rent costs are going up every year and we cant stay here for many more years." personally idc. first off, theyre the ones buying a ton of useless stuff (antiquities and stuff. idc about them and their obsession with them made me dislike them) and using up their oh so precious space to put them in. =.= and then for the rent costs. cant do anything about that, but meh. no wait, actually, just sell all the pointless stuff they bought. theyd get more money that way and the space would be cleared out. sheesh.

as you can tell, i dont like my parents very much. i dont laugh, cry, smile, or do anything much in front of them. my mom uses constructive criticism against me and i even tell her multiple times that i dont work that way. all it does is lower my self esteem. and my parents are judgmental and distrustful of a lot of things. and overly superstitious and religious and everything. yeah. i really dont like them.

so anyways... onwards to the city to apparently where i might have to move to in a year or two. its a mostly hispanic/ latino/ mexican community. and its kinda hotter there than it is here. the first part is okay, kinda good. im more into that kinda culture than asian culture anyways. besides, i can speak/ understand a decent amount of spanish. although ppl would just assume that i cant out of appearance and the fact that im asian. meh. the second part isnt so good. i like warm weather, but when its hot and sweaty, no thanks. plus, global warming. yeah...

the house over there is okay i guess. two story house that my dad built himself. and... i think its pink, but in this case, idgaf. usually id obsess over anything pink, but not now. not in the greatest mood to do so. when i lived in that house, i had my own room. small room but meh. i have my own room now, but its like right next to my parents room. id rather have my own isolated room like the one i used to have in that house. so i guess the house and room is ok.

as for school, if i end up moving there (which hopefully i dont), ima have to ditch friends for the millionth time and end up in a new school with no friends again for the hundredth time. i already moved twice before. from the city im in to the city im talking about now, and then back again. i havent been able to keep friends irl for very long. only like a year or two or maybe more but then theres like a huge gap where we dont even talk and its pointless. im used to it though so it doesnt really matter. i like my friends on here better anyways. internet friends are cooler.

i really dont wanna move, but if i do, then fml. plus my high school years will be all split up. ive already attended like three different elementary schools. middle school was just the same though. i dont mind being like the only asian in a hispanic community, but id stick out a lot. meh... in that case, maybe i do mind a bit. i mean, i like being individual and unique, but sometimes i dont because society just stares at you, judges you, and calls you weird/ insane just because ur different and theyre not.

the only thing that would make it okay if i did end up moving though is having a computer in my room, all to myself (except for the few times when ppl try to borrow and use it). then i could talk to everyone again everyday. it wouldnt feel the same since its in a different environment, but what can i do about that? nothing. so who cares anyways. as long as i have my own computer and the internet to talk to the most epic ppl in the world, ill survive i guess. thats the only thing i need anyways. even if i die inside, ill be fine if i just have them. so meh. just hope i dont move though. im already getting super depressed just thinking about it. i swear, my parents just try to take everything that makes me happy away from me. and thats why i hate them so much.

end of super long story. sorry i rambled on and vented out all my shut in emotions. it sure took up a lot of space. and probably about like 5-10 minutes of your life. and i just realized i only used one emoticon in this entire entry ;o now its two. i tend to be all "no emoticon" and serious when im depressed or mad and typing/ writing stuff... whoops, i just realized im rambling on again. well, bye then.





 
 
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