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Day 315: What is Real and What Isn't
Marie hasn't replied to my messages in about a week. I wonder if she's alright or if there's something wrong.

Today I watched a movie called Perfect Blue. It didn't make sense to me at first, and many scenes were disturbing to me. But after thinking about it for a while and doing some research it makes more sense to me. It really made me ret and it brought up a memory I've forgotten.

I'm certainly no celebrity so I can't really relate to it all that well, but the way that stalker followed Mima around in the movie struck with me. I think it's been a little over a year since I've stopped receiving strange phone calls that persisted for quite a long time. At first I answered them but no one would respond. There wasn't the typical "heavy breathing", but something about it was just really weird and off to me about it. After a while I just ignored the calls from that number but then after some time they changed their number and I answered again to the same thing. It frightens me to remember this, and I really have no idea what or who that was. My old friends have told me before I'm not the most perceptive person. I used to be followed by girls in school that I had no idea about until someone told me about it, so maybe it's like this as well.... but... There are times where I'm still scared to answer my phone in case it's that person again.

I remember when I used to go out with friends and when I used to be more sociable. Sometimes I felt like I was being watched, but I've always thought that's a feeling everyone feels, right? So there's nothing strange about that.

Besides, how you feel and what is truly real can vary greatly. You might think you're being watched or being followed but maybe nothing is happened at all. And vice-versa, just like how I went along normally in my days at school without a single worry, I was actually being followed by a group of people almost every other day (I'm assuming their frequency). So then, people's grip of reality, it isn't anything ground-breaking I guess.

It's a very fun thing to think about. Like, how do I know I'm actually typing this? Is any of this real? Maybe I'm just dreaming this. But I don't think I'm drugged so I'm pretty confident I'm aware of what's happening.

I should really listen to Christina's advice. Philosophy isn't my kind of thing.


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