Something clicked in my head this week. I can’t rely on my room mate forever, and staying closeted up like I have been for years upon years has just made me wonder “what point is there to my life?” At certain points I have thought about just what would happen if I left the world or if my room mate left. Neither would be a great outcome. I’ve done literally nothing and know hardly anyone so I would not be missed in the slightest if I were to simply disappear. If my room mate were to go, I’d be alone with no one I could turn to and say “can you help me?” I don’t want those thoughts in my head anymore, or ever again, so I’m going to start actually putting effort into doing the things I’ve wanted to do. I’m starting with a project that I started then stopped over a year ago. After that I’ll do other projects until I’m all done with most of the little things, then I’ll go for the bigger things. Or maybe I’ll work on everything all at once. However I end up going about it, I’m going to be working a sh*t ton from now on. No more lazy Turnilk.
Last week I mentioned at the end of my post that my computer screen was blinking. Turns out it was a bad thing! It died the very next day and now I’m using a small television instead. Funnily, I had told my room mate that I had wished we didn’t spend money on it because it was expensive. I’m rather thankful we did now. Problem is that although it is small, it is still bigger than my old screen and I can’t sit as close. I’m using a tall chair for my mouse and balancing the keyboard on my knees. It isn’t comfortable, but I needed to back myself away from the screen because it was too big to sit that close to it. Felt like my eyes were being taken to by a blow torch. Hopefully I can a different screen soon. I’d really like to use my desk as a desk again.
My room mate is doing a little better, though only because he was in so much pain that he drove to a hospital and the doctor prescribed him drugs to make him better. He says they said he pulled a muscle or something. I think the word used was “rotary” but I can’t remember clearly. On the bright side he’s getting more sleep, on the down side, it is harder for him to work due to the drugs. They also don’t work all the time, so he still wakes up in pain. He also says that if it doesn’t heal that he’ll have to get surgery. He doesn’t want that because he won’t be able to work and it will be expensive. I just want him to be able to rest for a week. Injuries if left to rest and heal tend to get better, but he can’t because he works for assholes who don’t care about his health.
Not much else to say this week. Fingers crossed things get better though.
F01 = 727
F02 = 0
SF01 = 0
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