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my diary ~
Day 291: Brainwashing
I've been getting frequent headaches recently and don't know why. My teachers are pressuring me a lot this time of the year. I feel like just another number to teachers, a grade so that they can get a bonus. Is this what Marie felt? Maybe this is the source of my headaches.

I also feel strange after lectures. I find myself focusing too much on what my teachers have told me. It feels like they're brainwashing me. I don't want this. I want to form my own thoughts and opinions from my own experience... not because Mr. Pino thinks that our nation is a noble one, or because Ms. Jimenez thinks Hitler was pure evil, or because Ms. Milian says I should be devoting my life to studies. I can't deal with all this anymore. It feels like everyone in teaching has the need to influence their students' opinions on politics, history, and lifestyle. It feels like everything's been skewed. But I refuse to be indoctrinated any further.

Then... there's the other thing. I'm done with that now though. There's no way I'm going to meddle in things like that anymore, I refuse. It doesn't matter how difficult it will be to suppress these memories but I'll make it so. I may or may not be slightly brainwashed, but I still have my willpower. Every day, I keep believing there's a way we'll still meet again but there's just no path to follow, no hopes to pursue, and certainly no prospect to wait for.

Also, I'm tired of being followed by crazy people. I seem to attract all the wrong people, huh? Everything is always opposite for me it seems.


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