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Journal of me life.
Beware, this is where I turn off my filter, so you MAY OR MAY NOT be offended to what I write in here. I just let out all my feelings in this journal. So don't read if you're really sensitive.
Bleh.
Well today I kinda sorta got dumped. I say sorta, because I don't really even know if it was long enough to be considered a real relationship. It was like about two weeks.

My reaction? I'm not too upset with it. I wasn't really expecting it to turn into anything/everything. It was nice to have someone who I liked to also show interest in me as well. Over the years my past experiences have pretty much taught me to be on my guard, and not get too upset over bad things that happen. I used to also be VERY clingy as well, and I'm trying to make it so I'm not just an annoying brat that hovers all over his girlfriends all the time.

My best friend in real life told me that love isn't something temporary, it's way different from other relationships you have. Even though he and his girlfriend are broken up (it will be about 2 years now I think), he still is in love with her.

I guess my relationship with him can be considered loving, but not in a romantic kind of way. It's more of a brotherly love. But it's something that won't be broken ever. I want to have that same thing happen for me with a girl. But it feels to me like that's a one in a million shot.

I am glad that I proceeded through this relationship with caution, and didn't get overexcited over it, but at the same time I'm also wondering if that's what was hindering the relationship. Perhaps I was being too cautious and protective of my emotions to be able to connect with this girl the way she wanted to.... >< But considering all the s**t I've been in throughout the past, I can't say that I'm mad at myself for being like this. Still though, it sucks if that's the actual case. >.>

Well me and her are still going to be good friends, which is nice. I'm still new to dating in general, so I'm not really surprised that it's going this weird for me... I don't really know exactly how it works. I feel like it should just be something natural that happens, but everyone on Facebook makes it seem so official and artificial (e.g.: "John so-and-so is now in a relationship with Emily so-and-so on April 14th, 2014.") Lol.

I'm curious how I would've been with girls if I grew up in the 1960's. xD





 
 
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