I remember sitting in the modest bedroom of my first house, the one I currently reside in, the cold wood floors below and the tin and plaster walls closing in in a comforting embrace as I sit on the edge of my bed beside her. Danielle. She is crying after a fight with Ashe and I put my arm around her. She says she doesn't know how I can deal with Ashe, I admit I don't either. I remember looking in her golden brown eyes for just a moment before her current beau interrupts the moment. She was safe and I felt...right. Everything with the world was right when I saw her happy, or I could protect her, everything felt...right.
I remember our last great outing, perhaps our first. Sitting across the table in the back of that comedy club. The loud laughs and conversations around me and smell of food and beer seemed to fade away as my eyes met hers... Her big golden brown eyes... She smiled and I did too. And in that moment, everything was all right with the world.
Any time I met eyes with her it felt the same. I knew she was there and I couldn't shake the feeling for weeks after. I've never really felt the same with anyone or anything else before. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same again. With all of what I am I can still feel that... Feeling I can't describe ... When I think about her. But my mind keeps saying that it's gone, while my heart says it can't be.
The last time I saw her, she was laying on a bed. Looking through her iphone and talking to her friend while rolling on her back. Then we ate sloppy joes and I said goodbye. I texted her the following day or two and tried to
Forget that feeling. Because it wasn't fair to me or her. I never wanted to acknowledge that when she could know because the one time I did I felt...crazy. Never to her. I write this as not to forget, not that I will, I
But...memories can fade and I want to have the ages know. If this ever comes to another person, I want them to know its right and rare.
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