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Diary
lol i am a person who obviously uses my Diary alot!! haha so go ahead read, post, comment, or if you're one of those ppl who critizises everything go ahead, too! lol xD
Lovers Grief
Lol not really in the sense of the term "Lovers Grief" that would imply I already have a "lover/bf" which I don't v.v no it's not like that nor a love triangle or a pick between one or the other, nothing like that, it's just <: *sighs* it's just that it's been a full year and a month that I have been single {or not in a committed relationship, which I would LOVE to have right now} I can tell you, I haven't been single since I was in 10th grade for That long lol and... it's lonely... I don't neeed someone there to make me feel special or wanted or loved it's just reeeally nice to have it. Diary, it's been so stressful since I graduated high school 2 years ago and I feel like it's not really going to change much in the next few years. Not like I'm stressed to the point of exhaustion but I guess... I'm just tired. I had a Sir back a year ago for about eh... 3 or 4 months until I terminated that relationship (why??) well because he lived in Austin and I live in Houston and my dad wouldn't approve and also I was still holding out faith that me and my ex, Chris, would get back together, but I really found out that he was pervy in a pettoy kind of way so there would be no future for us if that was indeed the case x3 Last time I heard my ex was xmas morning when he dropped off a cute bunny gift. A bunny was kissing the other bunny on the cheek, it was real cute, unfortunately it fell over on the door way and one of the bunnys ears broke off (foreshadowing much?) mmhm haven't heard him since *shrugs shoulders* I want to say that it doesn't bother me why he cant get ahold of me, eventhough I've tried to get ahold of him, but then I would be lying. Rrrgh >.<

Now for the past 6 or 7 months I've been seeing to my other ex quite often and doing some "adult" activities along with it but, it kind of bothers me a lot that we are not actually Together bf/gf. It's not so much as having a bf than it is having some-what of a commitment. I would at Least like to have the commitment of someone I'm having "relations" with xD cuz you don't know what the other party is doing if they arnt doing it with you, ya know? <:

I've actually, for support and affection, go to my imagination rather than real ppl to satisfy my emotional and sometimes "personal" needs. I have many characters I can go to to get away from it all and maybe feel... as if I'm not so alone. I have Max my huggable stuffed Pikachu. He's been there for me since last June <3 been a caring and loving friend to me. He sleeps on my bed with me every night and sometimes I take us to the park at night and just walk around and talk to him. (...Craaaaazyyyyyy) I-Am-NOT! We all have our ways with dealing with loneliness xD mm... then for my more Powerful emotional need and desires I have Buu <3 Sometimes I feel like he's here with me in my house when I'm just doing random things, whether it's sitting on the couch, drinking tea, or eating something yummy x3 he somehow always slips into my head. I wont get into any of my "desires" because well... you know what happens there ;P hahahhaahaha Guess this has been a long entry so i'll bid you farewell for now *bows* til another day!





 
 
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