For the past like... week, I've been up all night long, and I've slept in the afternoon. Usually I fall asleep after 7 and sleep until 12, midnight. I have been getting alot more sleep than usual, I guess... >:3
I think it's time to leave my current state behind and move on. Things were fun for a while, but the certain "things" that were fun aren't so fun anymore. It's time to move on... I hope to find something interesting. Either way, I ran into my brother today... to be perfectly honest, I'm not in a very good mood while writing this. In a nervous state, trying not to be awkward, I acted almost friendly to him. He looked at me like I was out of line for even trying to talk to him. This is my brother William... he and I never got along, but we recently did pretty good trying to patch things up. It didn't last, though.
I didn't want to talk to him, but I pointed at him (in the same way you'd wave, it's kind of a thing I do). It's kind of like a gesture that means "I see you. Hello". I did it out of tension, and he hadn't seen me yet... I guess I tried to break the ice, and he looked at me like I was an idiot, and said a few words to me, before walking off. Now I feel like he must think that I am trying to get his forgiveness, when I still, rightfully maintain that he's the reason that we're like this. But, look what this journal entry has become... in the end, I don't care what he thinks. Or, I shouldn't. My feelings right now are irrational, and I'm working on getting my mind back in line.
I'm having alot of fun lately. Playing Final Fantasy VII late at night... I've almost beaten it, but Bizarro Sephiroth is too hard to beat, so I've been gathering Enemy Skill materia, and now I need to get some good enemy skills with my characters. Psh, I bought candy to snack on, too... not only that, but other than some personal stress and ill emotions here and there, my life is pretty good for now. It's warming up... it was mildly chilly today, but all in all, a pretty good day. I got the Game of the Year Fallout 3 edition, which I didn't get in the first place, because I didn't know it had all of the expansions. I started my new Pokemon X file, which won't be deleted, and it's probably my favorite play through yet, since I know everything I do won't just be deleted for a new file. Other than video games, writing, staying up all night, and tension between my brother, I've been doing lots of stuff... it's getting warmer. Me and a few friends actually went out to the beach the other day, and we swam. Just like last year. My ex-friend was there, Marshall... there's also tension between he and I. I guess I am pretty stressed after all... but other than these phases, where I remember that some people who should be close to me, are sucky human beings... I have been pretty happy lately! >=D
Night time hasn't been lonely. I've been writing song lyrics like crazy, especially since I have been utterly fueled by the inspiration I got from one of my all time favorite bands. They're so unheard of that almost none of their music can be found online... but I ordered The Red Chord's "Prey for Eyes" online, and it came in the mail. I finally listened to all those tracks that I couldn't listen to before, and it was so interesting, since all I had before was messy live versions... I've written so many songs since then. Lyrics, I mean. And, it only came yesterday.
Maybe I should start writing journal entries more often, so they won't be so crammed. Then, maybe I would do a better job of keeping my friends updated on what's been going on lately. I am surprised by the number of views my journal entries have been getting lately, though. One of the random entries that I didn't even ask anyone to read got over 70 views. Not bad, considering.
But, anyway... Spring is coming, everyone. Sorry that I'm so quiet... I'm trying to overcome some ill feelings... I'm beyond irrational feelings like these, and yet, the feelings bother me. I'm such a helpless case... v.v
Maybe I should just take a nap...
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