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so it's storming , like ... a lot .
my sister's car is covered in snow @_@ idk how she's gonna get it out..
my friends are like, making plans to come drink at my place and im like uh..
good luck getting here..

Swear to god if they want to go out i'm gonna kill them >_>
i hate friggen walking downtown on ice with impractical clubbing attires
canada sux >:C

But I guess I should be grateful, other than the weather, it is a pretty good country
-glass half full-

and yeah, i know i've written a lot of these in the past days, and it only proves how much of a life I don't have ..
It's only cause the problems i want to talk about on here are things I don't really want to tell anyone..
I don't want anyone to know my vulnerability >_>

speaking of which, i randomly cried earlier...
I don't ever cry sober..

I mean, I cried when that guy wanted to kick me out after I didn't wanna have sex with him,
but I was really drunk and high, and it's kind of a valid reason..

I'm pretty used to be treated like an object by guys...
I'm not saying I'm hot or anything, but I've come to the conclusion that ALL men
ALL of them.. no exceptions (that I've met).. have NO desire for relationships, or anything revolving emotion whatsoever..

Would that guy have wanted to date me after he had sex with me? Probably not.
He would've just went and cried to his ex saying i forced him to do it,
that I "followed him home" and "took advantage of him"
ugh, so delusional.

but that's aside the point !
I've finally understood that no matter how hard I try,
no matter what I say,
no matter how much I change my personality, looks and morals,
no one that I love will ever love me back.

I understand that because there's been many people who have loved me unrequitedly,
and I tried really hard to make it work but I just can't,
and it must be the same with people on the other side..

ugh. moments like these, I wish I could just sleep forever.
at least in my dreams I can do what I want.. make anyone fall in love with me..
******** hate him.

lol so emo.

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