Before you read my journal entry, please note a couple of things.
a) I curse a lot.
b) I make depressive comments that may affect your mood.
c) I have very many arguable opinions, but I prefer you not argue with me.
I will not be stating my age.
I can assure you I am legally permitted to be here on Gaia.
A new year had started, and my best friend and I had been put in separate classes. Shucks. We still hung out, though. We hung out more than even we ourselves could imagine.
Then, she slowly changed.
The tomboyish girl I once knew was completely gone, replaced by a girl constantly yearning for a boyfriend.
In other words, a desperate b***h.
Now, I'm not saying her being a desperate b***h is my problem, but it becomes my problem when she starts acting too cool for me.
She got a boyfriend. They went only as far as kissing.
She broke up with him.
She started acting bitchier towards me.
She started liking this guy, who, for literally one day, liked her back.
Let me just tell you, however, that I am a very outgoing and occasionally weird person.
So, she wanted to blend in with the "cool crowd". She changed to fit his tastes. He still doesn't like her, though.
She changed and changed so much that suddenly she would call my everyday actions, which she had been accepting until then, weird.
I guess she thought it would be best to ditch me, so she did.
Every time we decided to hang out at lunch, she would forget I was there. I s**t you not. Forget.
She would literally go and talk to whomever else was there BUT me. She would then walk away as if I wasn't even there. At first I thought it wasn't deliberately, but now that I think back on it, I know she did it to get rid of me, the "uncool" friend.
So I had eventually had enough, and gave her a piece of my thoughts.
After telling her multiple ******** times, she, who wouldn't accept her actions, pissed me off to the point that I decided to cut off our formerly sisterly friendship.
Now, don't say I was being a moody b***h, because when your best friend pulls you into a crowd you'd rather not be in, then leaves you in the middle, extremely anxious to have eye contact with anyone because you're just not pretty enough, you get sad. So sad.You just want to cry. And occasionally, you do. Just in silence, using the snow to hide your tears.
I decided to finally cut it off- permanently.
And then there's my other "friend" who thinks she's my friend, but K and I have been looking to get rid of her for years. K is the desperate b***h I was formerly talking about.
She suddenly decides to cut it off with me as well.
Why, you ask?
I DON'T ******** KNOW.
So now, my friends of 3 years have decided to leave me.
At the worst time possible.
When everyone already has their group of friends.
So I had a few previous friends. I stuck to them. They are both pretty and funny, but never make me feel out of place. Although their words, because they are so blunt, can hurt many times, they help me a lot.
But that doesn't mean I'm over it.
Whatever I see, whenever I see it, I remember K and our fun times together.
It makes me cry every time. Seeing her and I not talking anymore is the absolute worst feeling ever.
How could this be?
How could the two inseparable friends suddenly be so far apart?
And her and Y, the girl who left me for no reason, are plotting to ruin my year.
Why, you ask?
I DON'T ******** KNOW.
They tried to get the most popular, sluttiest girl in our grade date my crush of two years.
Why did I deserve this?
I didn't do anything.
I never did them any wrongdoings.
I never left them crying.
Not like they did to me.
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