I created a journal, in another place. I've had it for almost five years now?
Honestly, the intro was screwy. I never thought it would stick around this long. I usually quickly dispose of my journals. But then I thought it could help me, you know? Help me change. I was never honest before.... but this time, I was. I still am. All the despicable and beautiful thoughts, everything.
I always thought it was wonderful. All these almost 5 years....
But then I looked back to read one of my older posts. I was so different from who I am now, so much more raw and ugly. And I felt it stirring in me once more.... as if, at any moment, it might come back for me again. As if I might go back to how I used to be...and I don't want that.
So now here I am, in Gaia. I can't seem to go read further than a year of my journal now. Further than that is all too frightening. And for the first time I actually like myself for who I am... I'm really scared of going back.