Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
The Depths of My Soul
Meh.
I'm such a joke.
Do my words have any weight at all? Have they ever?
I'm so full of bullshit; lies and empty promises and insincerity.
When was the last time I followed through?
When was the last time someone counted on me and I didn't disappoint them
When was the last time I tried to change and succeded?
I can't remember.
I'm toxic, emotionally abusive, scum, and yet I'm still shocked when a relationship ends.
The mindset I'm in is wrong; I realize that.
I've over glorified you, like some kind of diety.
And I forget that you're not the same person.
I don't know you anymore.
It's crumbling; I'm rotting, and devouring others happiness keeps me breathing.
I've lost so many.
So many have lost so much.
Because of me.
I'm so afraid of myself, of what I do.
I'd rather put people through pain by being alive than hurt them with my death.
Wish as I might to end my worthless existence, I won't.
I can't.
I'm selfish, but I'm going to make it past sixteen.

Polyester Dreams
Community Member
  • [04/22/14 05:47am]
  • [04/21/14 05:49am]
  • [04/15/14 08:17pm]
  • [04/07/14 06:15am]
  • [04/02/14 06:56am]
  • [03/29/14 07:06am]
  • [03/11/14 05:50am]
  • [02/05/14 11:36pm]
  • [01/04/14 06:50pm]
  • [01/04/14 05:03am]



  •  
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games