Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
Rose`s Log of All Things Children
a comprehensive journal of rose`s thoughts and feelings about her children and the events that transpire.
You Saw Me Today
why didn`t you let me explain myself to you today? i knew i should have been more careful, i knew i was stupid for wanting to bring shalbriri on my last mission. i knew it was stupid when my last mission was . . . well, you know, because you saw me. i know you did. i watched your face light up. i watched your eyes scan me for changes, for scars, and i watched your face consequently fall when you saw the baby in my arms.

it isn`t my kid, you idiot! you should have known that. it almost . . . almost hurts that you didn`t. i`m too young to do that sort of stuff! though maybe that`s why you looked so hurt. so disgusted. you thought they did this to me, didn`t you? ugh, why didn`t you let me explain myself? why did you leave? i`m sorry. i should have been more careful.

i think i`m starting to realize what careful is. i`m scared that you`re going to come after me, soon. i`m scared that "i`m sorry" won`t be enough.

. . .

i`m scared that "i`m sorry" was never enough.

i think i`m starting to get things now. i think i know what i have to do. i have to sit at home and be a good girl, a good "queen". i need to protect my son. protect him from you. from everyone. EVERYONE. you`re all going to hurt him. you`re all going to realize, soon, and you`re all going to try and take him from me. you especially. you especially because you`ll never believe me when i say he isn`t mine. you especially because i will probably never tell you he isn`t mine. he`s old enough to understand what that would mean. i`ll tell him when he`s old enough to understand that it doesn`t matter.

stay away from my son. stay away from me. i will make sure he grows up perfect. he`ll be perfect and if you so much as look at him i will tear your eyes from your skull.

i hate you. do you hear me? i hate you for judging me so quickly. i hate you for not letting me speak. i hate you for giving me this look of pity and loathing and i hate you more than anything for pitying me. shalbriri will never be pitied. even if he`s disabled. even if he`s albino and weird and when he walks his joints make weird crack noises.

he will never. be pitied.

he will be feared.

And The Sun Shines
Community Member
  • 03/16/14 to 03/09/14 (5)

    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games

    Customize your own avatar now!

    Join Now

    Have an account? Login Now!