so yeah they finally decided to sit down and talk to me about this "queen" thing. i`m supposed to sit here and make friends with everyone . . . but not really. i`m supposed to say all this stuff . . . and not do anything. i`m supposed to sit like a good girl and eat fancy food and have fancy parties . . . and not kill anyone. i`m supposed to live a life i`ve never wanted to live because they need someone to do it.
. . . at least i know this is a better life for my little shalbriri than the life he would have led if i was just a nightcat assassin on the streets. meow. i`m gonna miss being a nightcat, definitely . . . but i have to spend a lot of time learning what to do when shalbriri cries now. does he want food or water or milk or a nap or just to be held by me? does he wanna lay down or play with toys or does he want to see someone new? there`s so much about little kids i don`t understand, it`ll be a miracle if i ever learn.
. . .
miracle! that`s it! that`s what i`ll call him! he`ll be my little miracle. kiseki. that`s the word i want. kiseki, that`s it. shalbriri kiseki, my blind little miracle. i guess he isn`t very blind, though . . . aha . . . whatever.
my friends promise me that they`ll make sure he`s okay as he grows up. they`re gonna call themselves the "parliament" or something stupid like that. they`re gonna be in charge, they say. i just have to look like i`m in charge now, is all. and i have no idea how to act in charge. someone told me that you`re gonna be in charge, too, except actually in charge and not like . . . fake in charge like me. i hope we can be friends and get along! i know alliances aren`t really . . . something that ever works but it should be okay if we know each other, right? though you`re probably still mad that i left, aren`t you . . . i know you didn`t want me to. ah, one can only hope you forgive me. i never meant to leave you so abruptly, i just knew i had to leave or risk never ever leaving. everyone wanted me to stay. i`m sorry. i`m really, really sorry.
i have a little miracle to care for, now. i regret nothing.
And The Sun Shines
· Mon Mar 10, 2014 @ 07:00pm · 0 Comments