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The Chronicles of the Weezie and the inflatable turtle
Weezie's random ramblings!!! Wahaaa!!
Wedding plans and things...
I would like to say that I have heaps of exciting things to talk about right now, but the reality is I don't.

Right now, things are trucking along. The plans for the wedding are coming along well. We have a wedding date, a venue, a photographer, a celebrant and I have a wedding dress. More or less. It still needs a few alterations though.

Last Saturday was wedding dress shopping day. Nerida was busy hanging out with her Mum for her Mum's birthday, so it was just Jess and Lisa who came around the bridal shops with me. The first place we went to was called Confetti, down in Petone. It was a small, boutique type place, with a relatively small range of dresses to try. It cost $40 for the consultation, which only allowed me to try on up to 6 dresses. And all the dresses were white, so they were kinda boring.

I say all white, I mean, of course white by normal people standards. In the wedding dress industry there is a world of difference between white, and off-white, and ivory, and whatever else. But at the end of the day, really, they're all essentially white dresses.

And the idea of a white dress just doesn't appeal to me. I mean, the common belief is that wedding dresses are supposed to be white because traditionally it symbolises purity, and implies the bride is a virgin or something like that.

If that were the case, that would definitely be a reason not to wear white. I'm not a virgin, I'm sure as hell not particularly innocent or pure, and I'm far too much of a feminist to buy into the tradition of being the innocent bride being given away into the possession of my new husband. That's why I don't want to do the whole Dad walking me down the aisle tradition either.

But the fact is, this conception of a white wedding dress being an ancient tradition symbolising purity is complete and utter bull. From what I read by researching online, traditionally blue was a colour symbolising purity, more so than white. And the tradition of wearing a white wedding dress is thought to have started with Queen Victoria's wedding in the nineteenth century. Wearing white, if anything, symbolised wealth and status as it meant you were wealthy enough to be able to wear a white dress, confident it would stay clean, or that you would only need to wear it once, whereas common folk often wore dresses they already owned, and would wear the dress for other occasions later on too as they couldn't afford to splash out just for a wedding.

But after Queen Victoria wore white at her wedding, suddenly women wanted to be like her and show off status too and eventually white became so popular, it simply became the norm.

But one has to ask themselves this: why the heck, now in the 21st Century, would I want to look like Queen Victoria?

Anyway, rants and tangents aside, Confetti as a bridal store seemed a bit average. Jess seemed annoyed, because the lady there told her she couldn't take photos of me in the dresses, which Jess felt made no sense, because how would I be supposed to remember each dress and what they looked like to compare later? I agreed with Jess, but I didn't make a fuss about it because I had kinda expected it. I had heard, again from internet research, that not all bridal shops allow photos taken when trying dresses on.

The main thing I didn't like so much about Confetti though, apart from the lack of colour range in the dresses, was that the lady didn't really seem to care much about the feedback I gave her, about what I liked and didn't like about certain dresses. It seemed she only cared about her own opinions and taste, and focused only on dresses she new she could get for certain in my size. I know, that should be a good thing, but from my point of view, I wanted to establish an idea of my dream dress: the right shape, style, material etc. If that particular store couldn't get it in my size, I didn't care. I could find something similar elsewhere or just get it made specially. But the lady wanted to get the sale, there and then essentially.

The good thing was though, both Jess and Lisa were on my wavelength. They both seemed to get me, and get what I was after, and so their comments about why they didn't like the dresses were exactly what I had thought myself. Too plain, not sparkly enough, not poofy enough, too boring a colour. Not the best shape for my figure. They were definitely the right people to bring with me.

After going to Confetti, we had lunch there in Petone. Had some coffee and food, and chatted about work and relationships. Lisa vented a bit about her boyfriend Michael. I feel slightly bad that throughout the course of that day, me and Jess seemed to end up convincing Lisa to break up with Michael. It wasn't my intention to make her think she should. It wasn't Jess's intention either, especially as she's never even met him. But truth be told, I've had my doubts about Michael ever since he and Lisa got together, and I've been wanting to express my thoughts about it to Lisa for a while.

He's a friendly guy, nice person. But he drinks a lot and smokes, he doesn't have a job and he puts a lot of pressure on Lisa. At group situations where he's been there in the past, he pressures us all to drink a lot, which I don't feel comfortable with. Sometimes when he's drunk he gets all in my face and invades my personal space and that makes me uneasy too. Lisa's constantly been worried about money since they've been together, and she's had to put a lot of her hard-earned money towards helping Michael with his band and his music stuff. And it's not to say he's not a good musician, because he is. But his band plays 80's style classic rock, like Van Halen or Guns 'n' Roses style, and the simple fact is, there is no market for that. If he puts all his time and money into this one band, and doesn't get a regular job, then he will never be able to make a living.

And meanwhile, Lisa's money goes down the drain, helping him produce his album that virtually noone will ever listen to. He and Lisa fight a lot too, and from what I've heard, he can be quite an a** of a guy when he's angry. And I don't really like Lisa putting up with all that. She's dealt with enough bad relationships. I'd rather she got out of that one, so she can have a chance to find someone worth her while.

But I think Lisa has put up with everything because she hasn't liked the idea of being single again, back to square one, not knowing when the right guy will actually come along. You'd think seeing as how I've found the right guy now I could shed some light and give some advice on how Lisa can find one, but honestly I just don't know. I don't know how I found the right guy. It happened at the weirdest of times, and in the weirdest of circumstances.

I guess I could say me and Taina came about because we became good friends, which came about because Taina felt concerned for me when he heard about the things happening with me and Glenn. So you could say what happened with me and Glenn brought me and Taina together. And me and Glenn happened because...well, because it just happened I suppose. It started with us kissing in the middle of the night because I was half-asleep and didn't really know what I was doing. But that weird, sleepy mistake made me feel more happy and more alive than I had felt in a long time before that point, so I couldn't bring myself to end it, even though I knew how risky the whole thing was, even though I knew it could only end in disaster. And next thing I knew I was embroiled in a gigantic mess of a love triangle that went on for 6 months.

I guess you could say I found the right guy because I was willing to take risks, and I was willing to break the rules, and do all those relationship taboos you're not supposed to do. I found the right guy because I was willing to do all the wrong things. I think truth be told I'd gotten sick of waiting. I'd gotten sick of playing by the rules, waiting for the right guy to come along at the right time, in the right way, the right circumstances. I'd gotten sick of getting hurt and being disappointed, and I decided not to wait for love, but to take it however and wherever it presented itself. And while that approach also created pain and heartbreak, and cost me friendships that were very dear to me, it also led me to exactly what I'd been looking for all along.

And yes, Taina was worth all of that. I still miss Danielle. With all my heart I still miss her. I still worry about her sometimes, if she's okay, if she's happy, where her life is going. But I also know if I could turn back time, if I had the option to jump in the TARDIS and go back and change what I did, in regards to Glenn or in regards to Taina, I wouldn't. I'd be too scared to. Because I wouldn't risk losing what me and Taina have ended up with. The relationship, the love, the connection we share. The closeness that was cemented between us during that period of drama and chaos when we first got together. I wouldn't want to change a thing I did or said, just in case I lost the wonderful life I have now.

Anyway, I digress. On Saturday after lunch me, Lisa and Jess went to another bridal store, Astra Bridal on Willis Street in town. They were pretty different to Confetti. Bigger, much better range. Staff were nicer. They didn't mind Jess and Lisa taking photos. And while their range was predominantly white dresses too, they had a bit of a selection of bridesmaid dresses/ballgowns and I ended up finding some coloured dresses to try.

I ended up finding, more-or-less, the perfect dress I had had in mind all along. It fits perfectly in the top half, around the bust and waist areas, but it's a bit snug around my hips and butt. It's the only one available though, so I can't go up a size. But between them, Lisa and Jess managed to successfully bounce ideas off each other and come up with an awesome plan. It involves getting material, and sewing in an extra panel in the skirt at the back, like actually making it a style feature of the dress, but giving me more space for my butt and also having the bonus effect of making the skirt fuller and poofier. And because Lisa's good with stuff like that, I can get her to do it instead of paying a fortune for someone else to do it.

But the colour's perfect, it's got some pretty sparkly bits on it, and the overall style and shape is great. And it cost me way less than a normal wedding dress, because it's technically more a ballgown or bridesmaid's dress than a bridal gown, and because it was the last one of that dress available. I won't describe it completely though. That can be a surprise yet to come.




weezieishness
Community Member
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