Greetings, dear readers!
It’s currently 1:33AM. I just woke up from a nap I should not have been able to afford. Look at me, wasting my time on luxuries! How very shameful, I know.
Lately, I’ve been falling in and out of sleep unwillingly. If you’ve read last entry, you should know my once conquered hallucinations are back stronger than ever. I don’t know how to fix myself, to be honest. I have to straighten my life again, but not only do I lack the determined will, I also lack the knowledge [i]how[i/].
I probably need help.
Anyway, with time slowly dwindling away, I figured, “hey, why not write an entry to pass time?” I’m currently waiting on a load of laundry to be released from the washing machine. I ran out of light clothes the other day. My darker clothes are too warm, despite the negative degrees over here.
I mean, yeah, ‘tis freezing cold outside. As a victim of morning showers, I got my hair frozen last week. It’s probably one of the coolest (ha!) things ever. But since I spend nearly all my time indoors, I don’t experience the full force of winter. A true pity, indeed.
Alas, I should probably get started on the theme of this journal entry. It’ll be a short one, hopefully. Today’s entry is a confession session, so here I go~! Off to confess~!
Today’s topic is actually not a current aspect of me. It’s something of my past, much like the confession session called “Grounded Guts” or something similar to that. I’ll have you know seldom do I read my archived entries. I read my recent ones only to marvel at the annoyingly high rate of errors, but aside from that, I leave old entries alone.
When I was younger, I had a habit of nibbling on a lot of things. Growing up, with a fully functional brain, I was matured enough to remember consciously gnawing at my sister’s shoulder.
My sister and I have a dramatically fluctuating height difference. We used to be around the same height, then she grew taller, then I grew some as well. She currently beats me in terms up head elevation, but I’m not really one to care.
Under the unlikely possibility that Earth experiences a meteor shower around my area, I’ll have just a few fractions more of a second to escape. ‘Course, if that was a reality and a meteor shower did visit our petty planet, well, we’d probably all die.
Oh! I should talk about that in a later entry. Immortal, I have been self-proclaimed by, well, myself.
Back to the nibbling story, shall we?
Like with most childhood oddities, I grew out of the habit at an unnoticed time and date. Some might consider my condition a phase of some sort. Sure, I suppose. Let’s call it a phase.
There was a phase in my life when I enjoyed gnawing at my sister’s shoulders. Well, to be more exact, it wasn’t her skin. Heaven’s no! It was her shirt, the shoulders of her shirt.
I was born into an impoverished family. My extended family was not in the same financial situation, so we often got gifts from them. The presents were mostly clothes (to this day, my least favourite gift) because we couldn’t afford our own. In fact, my mom being a seamstress at the time, we made most of our clothes ourselves.
Point is, we were poor. The few shirts my sister owned made her look especially handicapped because of the holes I chewed in them.
“Mmm,” I vaguely remember. ‘Twas a darkened pink shirt. “Cherry.”
I was poking holes in my sister’s shirt with my teeth, avoiding the soakage of my saliva. I don’t recall her reaction, but I was never punished for eating fabric. To this day, I don’t know for certain if the shirts had any flavour. Perhaps I was crazy. Perhaps I still am.
I wish I could show you a picture of my past sins, but I doubt my sister possesses any of those old shirts anymore. When we moved from the old house (when did it earn that name, I wonder?) to the new house (an unfortunate choice as I’m sure this place is haunted), we donated or disowned most of our belongings.
Hm... I do believe that’s all for today. Truth be told, I have a crap-ton of homework to do. I gave up. At this time, I just want to be as happy as I can make myself. First, I ought to switch the laundry from the washing machine to the drying machine. Then I’ll watch some Let’s Plays on YouTube (an aged hobby of mine). After reading a bit of Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (or something that sounded similar), I’ll brave sleep.
I’m hoping for a fright-less nap.
If there be a Dream Master, let him take pity on me until the visual morn.
Until then, have a go at guessing the title and artist of this song:
You got some kinda hold on me
You're all wrapped up in mystery
So wild, so free, and so far from me
You're all I want, my fantasy
The lyrics don’t relate to the journal entry much. I do prefer to coordinate them, but I ran out of thinking juices. You see, I don’t pre-make my song excerpts. It’s very much an on-the-spot decision. Sometimes, after writing an entry, a song instantly comes to mind and I search up the lyrics. Typically, the procedure goes as follows:
1) I write an entry
2) I think of a song
3) I search up the lyrics
4) If I can sing the song over in my head, I consider it known well enough (as I’d never have you guess at a song I couldn’t even guess)
5) If the previous step was affirmative, I pick the most relevant few lines from the song and insert them at the end of the entry
To be honest, though, sometimes I forget which songs I put down for what entries. I mean, at first, it’s a song to lyrics kind of thing. Although one might assume that the succeeding action would go from lyrics to song again, it goes rather from song to lyrics once more. Given the title and artist, my brain could then pull back the lyrics to my conscious mind. When I see a guess, I immediately know if it’s right or wrong, but it’s not always that I myself can guess appropriately. Perhaps one day, I’ll go back and see how many songs I remember. That’d be interesting.
Ah, but to get a guess wrong is nothing to fear. For one, had you been the first commenter, Gaia would award you with gold regardless. If you end up being right, well then in addition to Gaia’s reward, I shall grant you something as well.
Mhm, mhm. 2:19AM now. The laundry should be done shortly. I’m planning on a 5:00AM shower, but that’s probably just a plan that’ll stay a plan.
I’ll be off now. I bid thee a temporary farewell. See you around next entry~!
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