I dreamt of PJ last night. Nothing in particular happened, I saw from across the room and we locked eyes. He smiled at me in a content way and asked whether I would finally admit that I made a mistake. I spent the time wondering, thinking through all the things that I've written thus far. I think I replied but I don't remember if it was something vague or a straightoff yes. I dream of him from time to time. Recently, though, my dreams were of him avoiding and ignoring me. My first ever was a waking dream, like I started dreaming with my eyes open. I didn't see anything, but I could feel him sit on the edge of my bed and hold his hand to my heart. I was really down then, as it was the first few days after he left but after that dream, I felt like some of my pain was taken away after he removed his hand. I don't believe I ever dream of prolonged sequences of us doing anything together but he does appear in my dreams, probably from my waking desire to see him accidentally (because he's trying to hide) on the streets when I'm in the city.
I think I've regained my desire to work, I guess it comes with having a bank account on the verge of breaking minimum content. With the money I'm going to make, I think I want to change my wardrobe to something much more unique. I particularly like things that hint of steampunk but aren't so far off that they begin to look like a costume. There's a website with really cool, kinda buddhist designs on their merchandise that would really pop out in a crowd. I can totally see myself wearing their clothing on a nice late spring/summer day. since the market I'm considering is otherwise small, the prices are a little high for the more elaborate clothing. I really like some of the jackets and boleros and I wouldn't mind getting one or two really cool tops. I guess I can share a few pictures:
That would be nice, I've got some ideas for contact lenses too that aren't too far out that would be nice to have. I'm ready for change and I think the outside should reflect how I've changed on the inside..
Le Visage Inconnu
· Tue Mar 04, 2014 @ 01:39pm · 0 Comments