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******** This Heart
------Hey J, sorry I haven't been writing to you much. A lot has happened lately and I'm focusing and venting the feelings towards the guitars. I got two new ones too! So I guess that's a good thing. I need to get rid of some because I'm broke now. I'm actually trying to form a band with my friend Leo. We found a drummer, now we just need to actually jam and stuff together. He's a little hard to work with, a bit stubborn sometimes, but musically I think we're good.

------Enough about music talk, I'd probably bore your ears to sleep. I'm writing to you because I haven't really gotten to put out how I feel and s**t. I don't know if I convey them properly. Its been so long... To be short, I'm lost. I guess you heard that from me before, but I really am lost this time. I gave away my strength, and I have to fight the darkness within again. Ani and I, despite how powerful of a duo we make, aren't ready for this fight.

------Speaking of Ani, she's missing. I need to find her again. Last time I saw her was in 34th street. I was standing on the side walk, carrying her luggage, as she spoke to the conductor. She looked back at me and nodded. I smiled, and she smiled back. It was that goodbye smile, that read I'll never forget you all over it. She walked towards me and grabbed some of her luggage

------"We're on time, thank god," She sighed.

------"That's good, I guess."

------"Come help me put them in." She went on forward and placed her bags in the bus's compartment along with other people. I helped her out by giving her her stuff. "Hurry up you, dork."

------"Sorry its just that, I'll-"

------"I know..." She dropped my words quickly, and mercilessly.

------She got up after we got all her stuff inside. She looked at me directly in the eyes. I tried to look away, but she grabbed my face. I look down to her feet, which she was wearing her orange/red converse.

------"Look at me you idiot, I'll miss you too okay?" She sighed again.

------"Sorry..." I do a half smile as I stare in to her large blue eyes.

------Then suddenly she kisses me, and we make out. I feel my heart race with hurt, yet soothing at the same time. It felt like needles poking the sides of my atria, as it beats back and fourth to the passion of this moment. After a few moments we stop, she rests her forehead against mine. I wish I could just rewind that moment back and fourth, but I can't control time.

------"5:30 Boston!" the conductor guy yells.

------"I guess that's me." She says, and she lets go.

------She walks away and waves farewell. "Until next time!" She shouts. I watch her get in the bus.

------"Until next time," I whisper to myself.

------That was the last time I saw Ani, I need to find her again. I need to find her again. I need to find her again, because this darkness will consume me without my strength.

------I had a horrid dream that night. I was standing in a dark corridor with nothing but the light from my lantern which she was holding. She laid on the ground lifeless, her head lifted up because I was holding on to her hair with my left hand. Her hair which shines like gold in the flickering light of the candle. On my right hand I held a twelve inch chef's knife, which dripped of her scarlet fluid.

------I remember her crawling away in fear as she felt helpless for the first time. Her sob's were inconsistent and in flux, She tried to suppress and use the rest of her strength to get the ******** away from me. She crawled with her arms as strong as she can, her mutilated legs don't function with the incisions that I have inflicted.

------I grabbed her hair hair so that her head was pulled back. I contemplated about slitting her neck, but that was to cliche. Instead I sliced open her back. I peeled her skin apart so that I could see her insides, her cries of pain made me insane. I grabbed her shoulders and started kneeing her lungs. Those cries became muffled as she tried to gasp for air. Her hands were shaking, till they stopped moving in general. Till she stopped moving in general.

------I woke up from that nightmare. It was already consuming me slowly and slowly. I need to find her soon so that I can regain my strength, and fight the darkness within. I wonder how long I'll last J.

------Sorry if i got too dark, perhaps you can help me, by helping me find her.

------Thanks for reading, this is "Anikacy", Signing out!

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