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What are you doing?
A strong realization.
Last night I think I cried harder than I ever had since like 8th grade.
My eyes stung and I felt so ******** helpless.
I honestly was at an all time low.
After my friend helped calm me down I just thought for a while.

Then I felt really good.
I mean, I was talking to the girl I like
and that surely contributed to it, but
really I just realized

I felt good because I felt so shitty.

I haven't hurt like that for a while.

It gave me so much pain that it actually made me feel better.

I don't know why, and it's confusing the s**t out of me, but I feel good.

You know that one lyric in the song "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM?
"you need a funeral to make you feel alive".

that's really true.

on your impulse,
swallow the bottle,
cut a little deeper,
put the gun to your chest.”
(Ellen Hopkins, Impulse)

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