I'm not sure what's worse, being awake or asleep. Everyday it's the same thing over and over again. Then I sleep. My dreams are never happy anymore. They usually aren't nightmares, but they aren't good. And they are usually about death. I imagine when I die, I will be trapped in these kinds of dreams forever. Sometimes I'm scared to fall asleep, because I think I won't wake up. But then I do. I wake up exhausted. Then I repeat whatever I did the day before. Over and over again. I hate it. I'm not sure what I used to do with my life, but something's changed. I don't know how to make it better. I am just existing. This is not living.