I hate to dwell on negative things. My boyfriend, my mom, anyone that knows me will be the first to tell you that I dwell on things for years on things that are in the past and don't even matter anymore. I don't know why I like to torture myself with it. I just think about things that happened a long time ago, think about how bad I used to feel. My life is perfect now. I have a wonderful fiance and a family who loves me but at the same time I did have a rough time growing up because people were constantly bullying me and I was very depressed. I know I need to move on from it, but sometimes I just feel sad because I feel like those people took away my childhood, my innocence. I couldn't be happy because all I ever did was cry and try to avoid those kids who were mean. And I know that I didn't deserve anything they said to me, because I tried my best to be nice to everyone and I gave everyone a chance. I just wish everyone had given me a chance too. And another thing that makes me upset is I have a little niece and 2 nephews and I know personally how mean kids can be and I never want them to go through what I did. And it's not just bullying. I had no confidence, a bad body image, and I lost a lot of friends. A lot of it was hard to cope with. I repeatedly dwell on what I could have done differently, so circumstances didn't have to be that way. And sometimes I don't even dwell on my own experiences, I also think a lot about my fiance's past, and how mad it makes me that he had girlfriends in the past who left him or treated him bad because he is the last person on the planet who deserves to be treated that way. I look at him and he's so perfect and I am puzzled as to why anyone would treat him that way. But at least we have eachother now. And though I wish we could have met sooner, we finally did. And he will be my husband soon. I need to look in the future. Not the past. That's why we have eyes in the front and not on the back of our heads. So we can look forward. Lol. Have a good night guys.
· Fri Feb 21, 2014 @ 06:21am · 0 Comments