My History From Elementary To Middle School To HighSchool
I was always told I was growing up to fast. Well a reason was behind that like most things, I was not smart I was not gifted. I started out as the average kid or at-least I thought I did. I always seemed to think things I saw were wrong. When someone starts a fight at school people crowd around and encourage it, I just stay where I am disappointed to see that their amused by other peoples physical harm done by another. When someone cries and knows they are surrounded by people and have no choice but to run and hide, people laugh seeing their emotional suffering. I just think to myself without a smile on my face what could have hurt them enough that they could not hold their emotion back. So yes I assume now I was not the average kid. All I kept doing was growing further and further apart from my own age group leading everyone to turn their back on me. For some people I was considered a pervert because I tried to be humorous in a contented way. Their parents would just look down at me and frown upon me because I knew such things. This was only the beginning after the 4th grade. After moving into middle school it just was worse. My point of view was so different from everyone else. Slang was commonly used but I was not one to use it. I would be put down and called racist. That entire middle school for me led me into 5 altercations. I basically didn't even want to be in a normal classroom. Near half of the year I purposely got into trouble to be sent to in school suspension where things were quite, clean and well controlled. I had no problem not being a suck up to the person who watched over ISS. I literally came up to her and told her I don't like you and I don't like this school. I am only in here because I purposely do it with full self control not because of my wrong doing or actions committed without thinking of the consequence. After that she was over joyed to see me come in that room every day knowing I had the guts to stand up and let her know I was not in their because i have suffering the consequences of something bad I did. I was in their to save myself. At one point of dealing with school a rumor was spread I was gay just because I had a appeal to rabbits just like girls do. I was now the crap nobody wanted to be around because of me being different. I could not talk to girls, I could not talk to other guys because I would be cursed at or called gay if I did. I started to gain a interest in chat rooms because of being rejected by everyone else in real life but on their. Sad to say the chat room I was in was created by Disney which was highly moderated and censored. That still did not save me from being brought in by some I assumed to be 11yr that taught me the rp that got me studying even today. Eventually the chat room was shut down and I was forced to move to a new one. I had my first relationship experiences on their. Sad to say I ruined most of them with the rp or they would do it before me. Longest I was able to hold one was 5 months. But it ended up in her cheating. She says she regrets it. But I know shes over it by now. After each vacation my I went on the summers with my family my body was already changed to look like a adult due to the amount of stress I was placed under. Each trip I was rejected from talking to anyone. I was lucky enough to have 2 nice girls company me 1 trip but that was it. No nothing happened I was still young and absent of knowing when the right time is and how to approach it. Well eventually this led to my downfall after going to the beach for my vacation. I was looking for people to talk to and came up on this group. I asked how they were doing and their response was they don't speak to *****. I completely was crushed not even at that but they threw stuff at me while i walked away. Basically stick and stones. of course they had bad aim so only 1 stick hit me in the back of the head. After the next day I see 3 from that group of 7 alone and as soon as they spotted me they ran. I walked following them to go tell their parents what they have done. I barely had time to speak because I was first accused of stalking and then after I said what had happen she said she didn't care. I said something I should have not but it was a mix of words. Saying not thinking which led to her calling security. I said I could have killed them. I should have rephrased and said those words are not taken lightly and you might not have seen them again if they did that to another person. So now I still get called one and whenever I do its when it effects me most. Because I was never given the chance to let them see who I was behind my dirty shell. My self of steam lowers because of being called that and only makes me follow them to give me a answer to the question why?