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what does seijaku mean?
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(click this!) Where is my mind? - Maxence Cyrin
So I'm sitting here, listening to this song, and I guess the sun coming through the window on my left just hit the coffee table perfectly. The leaves on this tiny plant sitting in front of me atop the table behind my whirring laptop just seemed to glow with some kind of nostalgic feeling-- I don't know. My tiny brown dog "Neji" just looked at me like, "what is on your mind? I want to nap." He wagged his tail, stretched and is now staring at the floor waiting for sleep to take him.
I don't know, this song makes me feel so peaceful and forget about everything. Maybe I'm actually just putting my time to good use, eh.
Ever since I put my college studies on hold I've been looking for ways to keep myself entertained; things to do, things not to do. But it always ends up being a routine everyday. I hope I can change that.
This is my life, and I've finally realized what I do with it is my decision. I could go to the library right now and just count the people going by, I could steal a car, I could take a bus to New York or Chicago if I really wanted to. I can basically do whatever I want, but I always choose not to do anything, as to please my parents.

That's the thing-- Why do we live our lives to please someone else, rather than pleasing ourselves? Sure when they're disappointed, you let them down in someway, but that was your decision. You chose to do that with your time that you were given. It's your choice to please them or please yourself. Don't ever believe that someone's happiness should lead to your own. "If you're happy, then I'm happy." I mean, I have no problem with that, but I've been living like that for the past however many years in my life. You grow tired of trying to please the people around you, you forget who you are and you allow them to change you rather than you forming yourself, your personality, and just who you are in this world.





 
 
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