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Just Another Journal~
Beauty.
I might not be considered beautiful in some peoples eyes. But, I want to learn to look in the mirror and like what I see. Growing up, magazines and tv told me to be pretty I had to be stick thin. They told me I had to have shiney, soft hair that was always in place and to not have a single mark on my body. They showed me that beauty was determined by the size of your clothing, by the whitness of your teeth, by the amount of fat you have on your body. They looked at those who were overweight as ugly or disgusting. Those with fat on there bodies as gross. I'm tired of society telling me what is beautiful and what isn't. I'm tired of fighting with this current world I live in.

I have fat on my body. Stretch marks. I'm sometimes considered too tall. My hair is rarely ever in place. My makeup runs. I am overweight. To some people I'm considered ugly. I have pimples and my teeth aren't pearly white. I wear extra large clothes. Around people. I feel uncomfortable. Walking down the street, I see women and young teenagers that have barely any fat on their bodies. Those that have the look society tells them to have. I used to crave to look like them. I look in the mirror and hate what I see because society tells me I'm wrong.

All I want is to like who I am. I want to believe that maybe I can be beautiful. But, how can I when all I see is ugly? When I look in the mirror, I see legs that are thick. Too thick. I see a stomach that is squishy. I see arms that have fat. I see strech marks and that makes me uncomfortable. I see ugly. I hate that I see ugly. I sometimes want to look in a mirror and see beauty. Is that so bad? To want to feel beautiful, even if it's for a moment? To love myself and not worry that people will only see an ugly creature?





 
 
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