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what's happened so far...
I'm tired of trying to hide my pain."Misery love company" is true isn't it?
I try not to make people worry. I know people care. Sometimes, I just shut everything out. I can't help who I am. I can't help what I do. Stop trying to change me. I want to be ME. But I can't. Nothing can stop them now.
I have been bullied my whole life. Sometimes, my own parents don't even care. Pushed against lockers. Purposely tripped. Hit by paper.
The teachers never cared. Nobody ever cared. I was always alone.

I tried not to let anyone in, but someone did. His name was Nathan. He was my first crush. First boyfriend. First everything. He was my everything. I miss him. He protected me. He stood up for me. He was my light in this cold dark world. Then the car accident. He died. Now I am alone once again. I tried to get over it. I never could. He was the only one who stopped my from attempting suicide. He helped me stop cutting. Just when I thought everything was happy.

Now I'm cutting again. Still thinking of suicide sometimes, though not often. I know I have friends I can talk to. Who care. I feel terrible making them worry. I feel terrible shunning them out.

But I can't help it. I feel as though my light is gone. I am drifting through the darkness once more. Waiting. Waiting for someone to reach out their hand.

People have tried, but once I am about to grab their hand, something stops me. I can't move. I can't breathe. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I can't even tell the difference between reality and my nightmares.

metery8
Community Member
  • 01/19/14 to 01/12/14 (2)
  • 10/14/12 to 10/07/12 (2)
  • 09/16/12 to 09/09/12 (1)
  • 12/04/11 to 11/27/11 (1)
  • 11/13/11 to 11/06/11 (1)
  • 10/23/11 to 10/16/11 (1)



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