I have a 3 hour 8:30 am lecture that's across campus, which I am sitting in and barely listening to, though to be fair the prof is pretty great and pretty funny. Also, I almost busted my a** on the ice getting here, made one guy get startled and then laugh.
Essentially I'm way off my rocker. Right now, I only have two classes until I can get into my next three because I messed up. A little. Also, I'm just pissed at everybody. No, that's a lie. I'm pissed at people I'm forced to interact with. Like the assholes sitting beside where one won't stop looking at my screen and another one that won't stop gyrating in his seat in obvious tension. Dammit it all. I wish our seats weren't connected. And the chick beside refuses to stop bumping my arm. Fuuuuuuck.
Oh and housing ******** up so I'm stuck in a double with a roommate that refuses to stop inviting her off campus friends to our room and they stick around for 5 hours and I think I'm going to stab somebody because they're in the room every night and at this point I'm fairly positive I'm either going to yell at her for ignoring my prior warnings or I'm just going to up and leave.
I paid for a ******** room, not a goddamn congregation. ********. And I had such a phenomenal holiday too. Like I had the best Christmas you could possibly imagine. Despite getting harassed by certain family members, I had a wonderful holiday, I swear I haven't one this good since my early teens.
One thing that really got me, something that really made me feel like a kid again was something my brother bought me for Christmas. This year, because I had exams and I really honestly just couldn't think of something really substantial to ask for, my brother decided to really wrack his brain for something to get me.
So my brother gives me a flat wrapped box. I was thoroughly confused about it. It seemed like an electronic of some kind but I didn't ask for anything like that. To be fair, I have a tablet, screens, keyboards, I have all of that stuff. I buy them myself. So back to me with this confusing box. They tell me to guess what it is. I have no clue. I'm literally staring at this thing so confused that my technologically inept father looks at me asks if my windows crashed. At that point I was like '******** it, i'm gonna open it.' So I tear the paper off and it's a wacom tablet. It's a medium Intuos 4 tablet and good golly miss molly I was ******** surprised.
I had a bamboo fun tablet in 2010. I bought it myself and I had hooked up until the middle of 2012. I loved the thing a lot, even though I only really used it in the very beginning. I had tried to get into digital painting and drawing because I still had a thing for the Arts back then. I really wanted a larger tablet back in the day because I wanted to do much bigger things. Through College, I gave up the arts for good. The photography and the drawing and painting were all things I left in favour of being a boring person who could barely do math and sciency things. (Even writing became a chore and I stopped that, too. Consider this a PSA, if what your doing with your life is making things you used to love become a nightmare, its a downward spiral and GTFO asap, I didn't think that diving headfirst into work for a whole year would be a bad thing but it was.)
Anyway, I'm staring at this tablet in subdued awe and I can't understand why he got me this tablet. So he says to me, "I remember you said you wanted this." I agreed but in my head I was all 'YEAH, I SAID I WANTED THIS FOUR YEARS AGO. WTF.' Maybe he noticed my internal struggle or maybe he just had this gem up his sleeve but he said to me. "I miss when you used to draw, you were really good in highschool. I thought maybe you could use this."
And the feels. Ooooh ********. Like I love any and all presents. Especially the meanings behind them. I got many heartfelt gifts this year, which probably is what made this christmas so awesome but my brother put a lot of thought and effort to get me something that I could conveniently re-immerse myself in an art I left behind. I regret dropping the arts now. I regret giving up drawing because I was not amazing by any means but I had insane fun with it. I liked doing colourful portraits and scenery. Clouds were a big thing for me. It was fun.
And with the November that just passed and how far I got with my novel during NaNoWriMo, I'm doing ******** amazing because I have an outlet again. Two writing files from November on my computer take up substantial space, one writing file (the big one I'm writing) takes up over 1mb. It's a first for me. The fanfiction I've been working on is at 580kb. Both of these files single handedly hold the most I've EVER written for anything. Hell one story manages over 100 pages with the other is sitting at 63 pages. Even though I've managed to find myself in a place where I should be concentrating on my academics, I find myself desperate to write drabbles and novellas and just stuff.
Doesn't help that I already spent money on art supplies that I wasn't going to use but yeah, I've been using a small sketchbook I bought and now I'm scrap booking and now I'm creative under time constraints so I'm thoroughly confused with my brain. I had three years in college and nothing half a semester in University and my brain just vomits on everything it touches.
This lecture is surprisingly interesting, like wow.Essentially, listening to familiar music enhances creativity, singing helps too. THIS IS RELEVANT. So essentially, all the time I've been spending on 8track since I left home has been greatly affecting my almost desperate need to get my plot bunnies.
Oh, wow. Class is almost done. Yeeessssss.
Also, guuuuuuyyyyyssss. I'm putting my drabbles on blogger, because I want beta's for my writing before I submit my stuff on Tumblr. So could you guys please head there and just wreck my s**t? Because prepare to be underwhelmed my writing, for how much I actually write, is complete and utter rubbish, I assure you.
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