Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

What Goes On In My Head
Being Half Alive
What do you do when you feel like you can't love anyone else?
Because you don't have a full heart to even give in the first place?
It astonishes me to know that I gave so much and yet i feel like i gave too little.
I lost my other half because that was what i gave.

I was forced to move on, to watch my heart get smashed into thousand of little pieces.
I know i deserved it.
Just not by that way.
What is killing me though is that you will always be the one to fill the hollowness.
And its you who can destroy me.
I hate that, that you control my love and i surrender willingly.

What is making me strong is knowing you hate me.
Because somewhere inside the hollowness you left, i think i hate you too.
I hope maybe one day Ill find a guy who understands my broken heart and gives me the love and attention i need.
Maybe here in my new life ill get to find something to fill the darkness in my heart.
But the only thing i want is to have never given you my heart.
I wouldnt be so broken and damaged as you so plainly told me.
Just damaged goods and just not good enough.

Well thank you love, because you truly know how to just shatter a life.
Its ok though, that just means you were never meant to be mine.
I hoped and prayed maybe youll find me, mend me.
No, hoping and praying was when i was 15 and dying inside.

I needed you, and well, im trying not to anymore.
Im just writing this because....i need to vent i suppose.
Because no one understands...
And once we both understood the hell we went through..
Now its just hell, alone.
Ugh, it suck knowing i am always going to feel half alive..





Monet Crest
Community Member
Monet Crest
Prev | Next»
Archive | Home

  • [01/09/14 05:32am]
  • [12/28/09 06:25am]
  •  
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get Items
    Get Gaia Cash
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games