The Blue Moonstone
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I wish I knew what I was going to do, cause I'm just drawing a blank... if that even, I don't even know where to start drawing that blank. I guess a 'professional's' observation would be that's hopelessness, but for that you'd have to have had hope in the first place right? All my life I've just been following the metaphorical tracks that have been laid out for me, but the problem here, just like any situation where you run out of tracks is; where do I go from here? Asking "What waits for me next?" just lets in more dependence on those tracks. The 2nd to worst case scenario is I can extend how long those tracks last, but if all hits the wall and I still have no clue where to go once the road is over, whose to say I'm not a walking mess prone to disaster? Would trying to figure out what I do now matters as opposed to what doesn't be wasting more time? If I had more drive then now, I'd already be in a better position, instead of writing this right now (Note to self: date is 2014 Jan 5 2:15 - laptop time). To attempt a change to this would require assistance from someone I trust (Note to self: they don't fit the situation for certain reasons and you know that!), although that option has been ruled way out for a while now. I've been writing this entry for a while now and my mind has stopped wanting to think about it for now, and so I bring this to a close. Good night (2 A.M. - Good morning)