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what i say and how i say it
thoughts
I remember some people, I forget others. I miss some... I doubt anyone would read this even if it was public cuz I don't see who would find me out in public, I won't go to any of those races or movies on gaia. Just got on the journal to say hi to the reader... Hi, reader. How are you? good? that's cool... You ever wonder what your future's going to be like? It's such a big idea for something so simple. Who will you be with for the rest of your life? What will you do? I'm 20 now typing on a journal from an account I made over 6 years ago... I've had good times and bad... My father died, I left private school and went to public(not saying there's anything wrong with that) I graduated so woopidy doo dah... I went to college and surprisingly instead of doing animation like I wanted to, mostly because they didn't have it, I went for electrical technology... it's super cool, I like it, learning how the modern world works, it's great... but it makes me yurn for a time I felt more free.. where I could dream up whatever I wanted.. now it's starting to get closer, the reality of life and how it's so limited and time consuming.. being on websites like this are nice for socializing, but if all you're trying to do is make virtual currency you're doing it wrong. the Light on the end of the tunnel is that at least I'll have a good paying job to support a family... but will I ever have one? I "recently" had a break up... okay it was about 3 months ago.. still have nightmares and think about it everyday. Is it worrying that the one you plan to be with won't be the one for you... or maybe one person felt like the one and because of that no one else can take their place? ... I'm hoping to become an animator in the end.. maybe get this job as electrician.. become good at it.. then go to college again for animating, maybe even more things. I have some weird dream to work for NASA and build parts for rockets.. I love the idea of ion propulsion and I'd love to be involved in developing that type of science. just think in 5 years from now my life might still be the same as it is now.. still in the same house, going to college for a bunch of stuff.. maybe a job.. Looking back at this journal.. I HAVE changed a lot since the last time I wrote a journal... even though I'm typing a lot, I feel like I'm hiding more then I did back them. I remember once I kinda sorta dated a Canadian girl named Jessica... she wasn't really interested in me though... I think she might be like 19 now? she seems to get on every now and then on mabi based on my friends list... But I'm mostly interested in my most recent ex, I don't know why I chase after something that wants nothing to do with me and is hoping I forget about her. Is it obsession or patience? You can probably read on my journal about my father dieing... he suffered from depression and his father and his uncle.. they both committed suicide. it's definitely hereditary or perhaps it's just the times.. I don't know.. So I guess I'll try my best to keep living, become better at living and hopefully find someone to give me a reason to keep living. I once gave some one a reason to keep living.. at least that's what she told me once when I asked her about when we first met. This post was probably too long, I doubt anyone read it all the way. Oh well.. good luck on your journey of getting older. I'll be here err... sorta if you need me.





 
 
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