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Today, I got a phone call from my mother telling me that she talked to one of my father's former friends, and that he had heard my father passed away. I thought I would be the first to know my father dying. He was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. We never had a good relationship. It's always been complicated. Anyways, I end up messaging my cousin and asking if my father had died. She tells me "I'm sorry I am the one that has to tell you this Julie, but yes he has passed away. He passed away the day before thanksgiving the 27th at 4pm we wanted to tell you as one of his dying wishes he asked us not to tell you. He was cremated and buried between his mom and dad a week later. Im so sorry, Julie, me and my family really wanted to tell you because we felt you really needed to know but they wanted to respect his last wishes." I had been avoiding his phone calls earlier November because we had a falling out after spending two weeks with him. And I avoided his phone call on December 24 since I didn't think we had to ever talk again. It wasn't him, it was his wife. I don't know if she was going to inform me or not. I don't know how I feel. I don't feel necessarily sad, or maybe I do, and I don't know how to cope with it. I feel angry, not sad. He didn't want me to know. I find that so ----ing wrong. So, I felt like venting out. I didn't find it appropriate to vent out on Facebook. If you read this, thank you.

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  • [12/30/13 03:18am]

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