I am stuck. My mind is racing. My heart is pounding. I am having trouble breathing. I can not sleep at night. I wake up over and over again, sometimes unable to see or hear the world around me. When my vision clears, the room is always spinning. When my ears decide to process sound again, all I hear is screaming. From this room and that one.
The voices in my head are always bickering with each other and myself. Deciding on what I should do next. Always yelling, making my head feel pressured. Pain, anger, hatred, never positive thoughts, only sad and negative ones. Never staying on track. Focusing only when it is not important.
I sit here alone wishing for the people in my head to pack their bags and leave. For good. Filling everyday with hurt and never happiness.
I need to be held . I need to feel your arms wrapped around my waist. Feeling your breath on my shoulder as you hug me from behind. Feeling your soft lips brush along my neck. Saving me with every motion. Keeping our eyes closed as we move in sync with each others body.
Vanishing me from my dreams, I hear my alarm go off in the distance. Getting up off of my bed, I realize what time it is. I zoom out of my room to take a shower, but end up running into my brother. Looking up, I say, "Really Vex? You know what day it is and you just now decide to take one?" He smiles at me and decides to let me win this time.
Happy once again, I hop into the shower. After getting ready to leave, I tell Vex that I will see him after class. I am out the door before I even get a response. Once I get to my class, I hurrying to my locker and make it a second before the bell rings.
Finally, after watching the clock with anxiousness, the bell rings for my last class of the day to end and I am free. Hurrying back home seemed to take forever, but I made it. When I get home, I rush upstairs to boot up my computer. After finishing my homework I log into the game I have been playing since a few months ago.
I hurriedly scroll through my friends list looking for him. I found him wandering around looking for things to find and earn money a few days after I got my account. His name is Jordan. Jordan. My mind begins to race, while my heart starts bounding in my chest when I see him online. Just as I am about to send him a message letting him know that I was online, he messages me first.
:heart: Welcome to My World.:heart: