well here it is Christmas day... spent time with a friend last night watching doctor who till I fell asleep at 3 am. then came home had dinner with my mom and now here I am, just thinking about random crap. life has been pretty rough the last ten years. found what I thought to be the most wonderful person I could find, but it didn't last. had a beautiful son with her but we just fought too much, so now I think about all that crap everyday because I miss my son. I got into trouble five years ago mainly because I lost my family so I did not care what happened to me. to this day, that trouble will follow me for the rest of my life. stressed I deal with my choices every time I look in the mirror and hate what I was back then. scream I was a failure, a piece of eek ! but, I had time to think about my choices and what kind of person I want to become. yes, I was taken away from society for five years because I made a stupid stupid mistake. I regret it to this day and I have to live with it. I don't want people to look at me with disgust, I want them to be proud of my change. I believe I am a better person today and will push myself everyday to be something positive for this world. now I just have to get started. damn life anyways....