12/3/2013 4:50 AM
I really miss Her. I miss Her as a lover, as a companion, as a friend. She was and is my very best friend. Always there for me and with me. Texting me right when She woke, calling me every single night to go to bed with Her, snuggling up to me in the mornings and nights as She slept. -sigh- She is always on my mind. My body knows there has been a change. I will be lying down, a memory of Her will enter my mind, and I will sit up gasping. I wish She was ready for some kind of friendship again. I am always thinking of Her. Not a day...hell...not an hour goes by that She is not on my mind. I hope my fate will not be loneliness. I understand that She had a calling to do something else with Her life, but why not include me? I am willing to be flexible in order to keep what we had. I would happily go back to texting and calling at night or whatever She wanted. I would not ask Her to do anything She would not want to do. I would do anything... If I found out tomorrow that She got sick and was in a hospital, I would be on the next plane there to be by Her side. Who else would do that? I genuinely love Her for who She is. Not like a family member does out of obligation. I met her randomly and knew She was such a special person. I stuck with Her and our love and friendship grew over the years. She told me that this was not goodbye; we will meet again. I trust Her and Her words. Regardless of any betrayal, I trust Her will all that I am. She would never hurt me intentionally.
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